think rainbows

This is not just your ordinary Monday workday blues. It's something deeper than that.

I know it doesn't really sound or look nice that I just blogged again and my first entry is something gloomy. But I can't help it. I needed an outlet and I know this blog, though very static, would be a perfect one.

I guess I woke up on the wrong side of the bed today. Then my phone just suddenly didn't want to charge itself anymore. And then everything else just kind of dawned on me. The only moments I kind of felt better was while watching Eat Bulaga (yeah, they never fail to make people happy) and maybe when I ate that one piece of Malteesers.

My phone which suddenly wasn't charging anymore was a very simple thing compared to everything else that came after that. I suddenly felt so down; so bummed out; so useless; that my life is really so boring at this point and I'm not doing anything about it. Or I can't do anything about it. I still can't find a job. I don't know what I've been doing wrong that I haven't been able to land a job again. Could it be that this is fate's way of getting back at me? For giving me many opportunities last year which I didn't grab? I hope not. I don't want to think that way anyway. But what am I doing wrong really?? I used to think that I've always found a way with things. That things have their way of working out which, most of the time, have favored me. And now this. I am totally lost. (Billy, can I join you? I think I need to find myself too.)

Find your purpose. Find your meaning. Find your destiny. Find that which you really want and love to do. I may be able to find them, but how do I put it into action? How do I incorporate them so as I could make them my source of income? I can study. But where do I find the resources to study? I still want to use my degree in any way possible. Is that too much to ask?

I'm 25 now. I left my last job before I turned 24. What have I been doing the past year? It's almost August. My target of getting a job was at the first quarter at least of 2013. And look at where I am today, sitting in front of my computer (oh wait, it's not even really MY computer) at home, blogging, sulking. The first few months, leading up to almost a year, it hasn't bugged me that much because I enjoyed the vacation, but now it does...so much. Did I enjoy it too much? I even thought that 25 was a good marrying age. But obviously that didn't happen. At my age, I should be providing for myself, going out with friends, travelling, seeing the world, trying out new experiences, building my career, living my life. I'm not bad, am I? I think I'm okay, pretty good personality, intelligence. What am I lacking??

Right now it feels like I've put my life on pause. Yes, I say pause, because after all the negative thoughts and not so good realizations or decisions or happenings, I am still trying to stay positive that one day, I'll be able to start again.

I know I'm being so impatient right now, and moody. And I keep on asking myself how do I start? What do I do? Where do I go? Because I don't know anymore. Should I just go with the flow? But where's the flow?? Like I've got all the options, all the opportunities, and because they're too much, I cannot seem to figure out which one to take. Aaaaaaah!! I feel like my mind's going to explode anytime! *insert a heavy heavy sigh here* I've got all the time in the world but I'm not fully utilizing it and I don't know how to.

Yet I'm still hopeful and I continuously wait, for that spark, that one step that would get me going again. Besides, I've always believed that everything happens for a reason.

At the end of the day, yes, I still turn to nobody else but Him.

And I think I do need some alone time for myself.

P.S.
And I think I need to start writing more again, my vocabulary's getting weak.

There is this Sony Xperia P giveaway on YugaTech and i saw it on a tweet posted by Abe Olandres on Twitter. And I am joining!

I have always wanted to try Sony's new phones for quite some time already but I just don't have the funds to do so. So I am hoping that lady luck smiles on me for this giveaway. I have always liked Sony phones mainly because of their camera. I have a k750i phone also from sony and I really love the camera quality. And since the sony xperia p boasts of a 8mp camera and based on reviews it is good, I would love to experience it for myself.

It's been a while since I haven't had a new phone, and I've always wanted to try android phones. A Sony Xperia P would be perfect. It looks good too, doesn't it?

Wish me luck! Here is YugaTech's review on the Sony Xperia P.

I've always talked about basketball when the UAAP starts, but now I think it's time to talk about something else regarding the UAAP as well. I think the UST Volleyball Team and the UST Salinggawi Dance Troupe deserve a post here in my blog as well, even if volleyball is still at the 2nd half of the UAAP, and the cheerdance competition is not until September.

For the UST Volleyball Team, both men's and women's, I know they're both going to be missing important players on their rosters. Not sure who among the men's team, but for the women's team, it's goodbye for Rhea Dimaculangan, the awesome setter of the UST women's volleyball team. Her replacement though, Loren Lantin, has shown that she can also work wonders for the team during the finals against the Ateneo Lady Eagles in the Shakey's V-League. She may not be as good as Rhea yet, but I'm pretty sure she'll still improve in the coming days. I just hope they're all ready when the volleyball season starts, and I hope that UST will be able to make it to the finals still, and possibly, another championship for these volleyball players and the school. :)

Together with the basketball team, Salinggawi's season practically starts as well since they'd be doing halftime during basketball games. One shocking news before the UAAP season starts is that Ryan Silva, the awesome choreographer/coach of the UST-SDT since 2002, and the 5-peat architect as what they call him, won't be calling the shots anymore for the multi-titled dance squad. It is saddening since we've been used to Silva's ways, but maybe also a blessing in disguise since we'll be able to see something new and fresh from the Salinggawi Dance Troupe. I'm sure this wouldn't change their fighting spirit or the will to bring back the crown to Espana. Whoever will be calling the shots for Salinggawi now will have a hard time filling in those big shoes as the team's choreographer, but I know and I really do hope that they will still do their best. What I think SDT has to work on for the cheerdance competition are their tosses and lifts and all that kind of stuff. The UP Pep Squad can do it and make it look so effortless(yes, I can see that even if I'm a loyal UST-SDT fan), so why can't the Salinggawi do it like that? I know they can bring the crown back to UST. I'm sure it has been missing the Salinggawi too.

So right now, that's all for volleyball and cheerdance. I hope to see the Salinggawi perform on Saturday and give a good performance. And I hope that all the teams from UST do well in their respective competitions. Go USTe! =D

Time for another very biased post! Which just means, time to talk about UST and the Tigers according to Dindin! :))

UAAP season's starting on Saturday, and UST's UAAP campaign also starts on Saturday! But before all that, I would like to share my thoughts on how I think and I wish UST would fare this season. Not just in basketball, but in volleyball and cheerdance as well.

All in all, I would like UST to do really well this season. Not just bag another General Championship at the end of the season but to be able to do it with flying colors. Meaning, that our athletes perform really well for this 75th season of the UAAP. Other schools have been wanting to win that General Championship too, and this year's host school NU would surely be at the top of UST's to-watch-out-for list when it comes to the General Championship this year.

As I've mentioned, this Saturday, UST would also be starting their UAAP basketball campaign as they will be facing the FEU Tamaraws in the second game of the opening day double-header. First game would be the host school, the NU Bulldogs, against the UE Red Warriors. Now comes the basketball talk. =D

It's that time of the year once again! The 75th season of the UAAP is set to start this Saturday, July 14, at its new home at the Mall of Asia Arena. As this year's hosts, NU is expected to give an awesome show during the opening rites. Together with the other 7 participating schools, Adamson, Ateneo, De La Salle, FEU, UE, UP and UST, every UAAP fan, myself included, is excited once again to see what unfolds in the UAAP this year.

It's not just the new season of the UAAP we're all excited for, but also the new venue that the UAAP will be in. The newly-built world class MOA Arena which is just like other NBA arenas in the US is ready for the UAAP wars. Most of the basketball games, and most probably the cheerdance competition will be held here, giving UAAP fans some fresh experience, and giving the athletes some inspiration to do even better as well. Of course, the host school is expected to go all out and perform well, but given the intense amount of competition over the years in the UAAP, expect the other participating schools to go all out as well.

As early as today, tickets are almost sold out in all sections. According to the SM Tickets website, the only available section is the General Admission area. Luckily I was able to secure lower box tickets for the opening on Saturday, so to every UAAP fan out there, see ya! :)

P.S. Other UAAP-related posts after this! :) (mostly UST-related probably =P)

I just turned 24 last June 25! I can't believe it, it's only 1 year less than what I thought then would be the marrying age for me. Now I don't think about the "marrying age" factor anymore. Will find a boyfriend muna. :))

The reason for the title is, I just finished watching two episodes of Running Man earlier today. Yep, I'm back to my daily routine of watching Running Man. Daebak! Anyway, that's not the main point of this blog entry...I haven't been blogging much again! *sigh* I will try to make up for it; and since the UAAP is almost here, looks like I'll be updating this more often again...yay!

But before that, I'd like to share with you guys something that I've just thought about over the past few days. Today is June 22nd, and in three days I'll be turning 24. I seriously don't feel like I'm 24. Well that's a good thing right? I mean I know I've matured in many aspects and all that but I just don't feel my age. Age is just a number, ain't that what they say?

So once again, just like I always do, I'm pretty much anticipating the day of my birthday. June has always been like one of my favorite months of the year aside from the holidays probably because my birthday falls on June. The excitement level for this month is higher than other months (except the holidays of course), especially when the 20th arrives. I'm just always excited for my birthday. But sometimes I get too excited that I start thinking about the things that are going to happen, or more like I start hoping about the things that are going to happen. I start thinking about who's going to greet me, how they're going to greet me, if I'd ever be receiving gifts, etc. Yes, I think too much, I admit it.

I love surprises, I love giving them, and I'd love to receive one. I always think of ways to surprise friends for their birthday or other events, then I sometimes get the feeling that no one's willing to do it for me. Emo! LOL. Anyway...it's just always been one of my dreams, to be surprised on my birthday, but not to the point that I'm pleading and desperate for one. So I always hope for it whenever June comes, but I just always disappoint myself because it never actually happens. Haha! I almost always tell my friends that I'd love to be surprised. Maybe they just don't get the underlying message it brings: "Surprise me please!!!" But I'm fine with it anyway, whenever my birthday comes and all hopes are not met, at the end of the day I'm still happy, and just look forward to another year of hopeful thoughts and wishes. Still thankful that I get to celebrate another birthday with my family, with my friends, everyone greeting me and remembering me even if it's just for that day. At least I know they're still there.

So now I just wait for my birthday once again, and see what happens. There's not much anticipation this year compared to last year, but I'm still excited for the food. =)) Better not to expect much so as not to disappoint yourself, right?

P.S.
I would also love to receive a bouquet for my birthday and that locket that I still would love to have. =))

When I resigned from work, we decided to visit Mindoro and our relatives there once again after almost 5 years of not being able to. It was in exchange of not going to Panagbenga this year which we have been doing since 2010, and since it would also coincide with the town fiesta. Unfortunately Kuya couldn't come because of work, so it was just me and my mom. It was a fun trip, but it wasn't how I expected it would be. I didn't even get the chance to swim although we went to different beaches. All in all I was happy that we were able to push through with the trip, but I wasn't satisfied.

I wanted to go back as soon as possible, and while summer isn't over yet. I wanted a different experience, and since we don't know when we'll be able to visit again after this trip, I really wanted to do it. After much thought and much debating, luckily we were able to go again, but still without Kuya. I was determined to make it a different experience this time, and I think I achieved it. From the moment we got there, it was all family, and just pure vacation. I was at the beach almost everyday. Although there were times that I missed some things(from past visits there) and wanted more, I settled myself with what was there and I was okay. It was fun, definitely much better than the first one.

It wasn't just fun which I got from our stay in Mindoro this time. Aside from that, being the observer and over-thinker that I am, and through conversations with some relatives, I had a lot of thoughts and realizations. It was also something that I really wanted to do while I was away from Manila. Not just about what I am going through right now but life in general as well. I really didn't get the chance to have a one on one with nature because I feel like they didn't want me going by myself anywhere. But I still got my fair share of muni muni since I had a lot of free time while everyone else were either doing something or asleep.