think rainbows

There's been a couple of times already that I feel I get too easily attached to certain people. Certain people who might have shown "too much attention" to me. I start to always seek for their attention, for their companionship, for their conversations, and simply just to seek for them. Not that I always want to be the center of attention of everybody, but once in a while, you get to like the attention given to you, especially if it's particularly just for you, even if it's just for a while. This happens, and then expectations happen; you look forward to things. I know, expectations are pretty much a no-no, but I just can't avoid it sometimes. Don't worry, I won't get mad at you for thinking that I'm selfish, because I feel that I really am sometimes.

There are times I really try not to get too close or too comfortable, but I do want to spend time with them. So how do you do it? Because I don't know how to. It takes time before I start not to expect, but usually I get hurt or pissed first before I eventually learn. "Experience is the best teacher.", ain't it?

I get frustrated, because when it happens, I know that it's not the first time that it's happened, and I can't seem to get it out of my system. I get frustrated and sometimes think that am I being too good? Am I too easily fooled? (I certainly hope not!) Am I just really selfish? (partly yes?) I continuously try to come out of this and change this attitude because I know I will come upon these kinds of people more, and I can't let this happen over and over again. One day, it will come, I will just realize that "Hey, I've changed!", for the better. :)

It was a feeling of all sorts yesterday. I had plans of going out with friends even if I wasn't really feeling okay 100%. Then it all got confusing and slowly the plan was fading out. I still wanted to go out though, at least to make something out of nothing, or at least find something that could bring me enough fun to make up for the failed plans. (And also for that UST loss which was so sad. But kudos ladies, I still love you, and will look forward to next season!)

I decided to go with one of the original plans to meet up with my Mom. Then I thought we should just go out and eat, and bring one of my second cousins with us. Fortunately it pushed through, and I had fun with my cousin. He sure looked like he had a lot of fun too. =D

One of his favorites was Sbarro, so we at there but too bad his favorite pizza(Chicago White?) was not yeat ready when we arrived. He chose to eat Baked Ziti instead, and I chose this all-meat pizza which I tried for the first time. It was pretty nice, and very filling. =D Sbarro still had a Valentine's Day feel to it, thanks to that heart display right above my cousin's head.


Then we went to Timezone and let him play whatever games that he wanted to, until all the credits from the card was used up. He still wanted to play more but accdg. to the boss (my Mom), we had to go home since it was already getting late. There's always next time, Migs! =D

So I was still able to turn things around for yesterday. I guess plans with friends could just wait for next time. :)

I've always found it hard to wake up early every morning, but today was an exception. I am pretty excited and pumped up, though yawning was unavoidable.

It was a fine January morning. You can still feel the coldness brought about by the cold front, or something like that. I met up with the group, and of course, you were there, smiling as always. This was pretty much the highlight of why waking up early today isn't so bad, because I get to see you. We all went to the room, did our thing, and finally it ended. There was not much to do, classes weren't about to start yet, so we all had time to hang out. Although it was obviously cold, we still chose to eat cold stuff, inside a cold place, laughing at our own stories. All these coldness didn't stop my heart from feeling so warm, just by your presence. See what you've done?

We were all joking around, I was starting to feel jealous because of that much attention you give her. How I wish you were like that to me as well. The stories ended, we all said our goodbyes, then went on our separate ways. There were times throughout the day, I was reminiscing what happened that early morning, and thinking that I wish we'd have more hangouts like that. It was fun, and I liked spending time with you. I didn't realize, things were about to change, and I'd get my wish, somehow.

Now that I realize it, it's been 5 years...

Weird pala no, when both of you know that you have (had?) feelings for each other, but it just doesn't work out in any way. Or could it be that you both haven't given it a chance yet? One small act could change it all.

Maybe God gave me you,

so that I'd have a reason to smile when I'm feeling blue.

But then you're not really mine, still I know it will be fine.

For as long as you're there, suddenly, my days could get better.

I may not always tell you this
But now I will try and do so
To give appreciation to what you do
And let the whole world know too.

To you who befriended me,
To you who shared stories with me,
To you who let me know you,
To you, thank you.

To you who accompanied me,
To you who easily say yes,
To you who make yourself available to me,
I appreciate you, thank you.

To you who kept me out of boredom,
To you who laughed with me,
To you who patiently listened to me,
For everything, thank you.

To you who I sometimes take for granted,
To you who I may have ignored before,
To you who I may have hurt directly or indirectly,
Forgive me, I'm sorry.

To you who may be surprised with what's to come in the next lines,
To you who made me smile with or without knowing it,
To you who's made a lover out of me again,
I shyly admit to you, I admire you.

There goes my message to you as honest as it can be
Forgive me if you were surprised, you're not the only one, believe me
I hope you appreciate what I've done and that between us, friends always it will be.
Once again, to you, thank you. (A simple you're welcome would do.)

:)

Found myself
in a not-so-unfamiliar place.
Been here before
but with a different face.

Will embark on a new journey
to an undefined territory.
Armed with nothing but myself
and the experiences from the memory shelf.

A bit doubtful actually
still isn't 100% clear.
The mind wonders if it's real,
but the heart says "aren't you feeling surreal?"

Wanted to be sure
so I had to ask for a bit of help;
some felt like they were signs
But all were pointing to one clear direction: go for it.

So here I am, braving the storm
unsure of what's ahead.
I could be hurt, but for all I care.
We've only got one life to live.
So just go with the flow, and let the rest follow.

If this is really for me, then I'll take it openly,
whatever the reason may be.
I'll be forever thankful for success, and won't give up with defeat
for I know in every journey, He is with me.

It's funny how we become friends with some people.

Some you meet during the first day of school. You'd think at first you wouldn't get along well, but in the end it turns out they become one of your closest friends.

Some you meet along the way, from different places, different groups. They become acquaintances, people whom you greet along the corridors, and then you become close to some, but lose the others as well, and you start to hang out.

Some you meet through a common friend. You click with some, but not that much with others. You might even become closer than your friendship with the common friend.

Some you meet through technology. Either you both have interest in it, or it was thru the use of technology that you two were able to meet. And surprisingly, some stay as your friend, while the others remain a stranger.

Others you'll meet at that one place, won't be friends at first, then you meet again at another place, and then get to know each other more, or talk with each other more, and you realize that you get along well with each other. They now become one of your close friends.

Sometimes it really doesn't matter how long you've known a person for you to become the closest of friends. It's also about how you treat each other, how long you're willing to stay as friends and who's going to be there when the going gets tough. :)

You may start losing some but as you go on meeting different kinds of people and going to different places, time and time again, you can make new friends and create a different story with each one.

And who knows, among one of those friends, someone becomes more than just a friend. :)

Pagsakay ko ng multicab kanina papuntang MOA, I overheard this conversation.

kuya 1: e yung cheerdance napanuod mo?
ate 1: oo, ang panget lang talaga nung routine nila. (ako:salinggawi kaya yun? kung oo, hindi naman kaya panget!)
kuya 1: hindi naman kaya panget, ang ganda kaya nung dulo (ako:oo nga!!)
*blah blah blah*
kuya 1: hindi lang siguro ganun kalinis yung kanila, yung sa UP ang linis e
ate 1: last year top 3 sila, ngayon bagsak e (ako:grabe ate di naman bagsak, haha)
kuya 1: 4-time (champs) pa sila noon no.
ate 1: five kaya
kuya 1: ah five ba. pero ang ganda kaya nung sa dulo nga, astig.
ate 2: 400 years pa naman ng UST ngayon no
kuya 1: hindi lang ako sanay na wala yung UST sa top 3 (ako:ako rin!!!)

Hindi na yata sakto 'yung mga sinabi nila diyan, pero parang ganyan yung flow ng conversation nila. :))

October na!
UAAP Finals mamaya, 3pm.
PBA opening bukas, 4pm.
Azkals vs. Chinese-Taipei bukas ng gabi.
First weekend pa lang eventful na!
Whew.

Good night. :)

P.S.
My Dad's coming home for Christmas and New Year! Yeeeeaaaaaahhh!!! =D

I actually didn't think that I'd let myself get drenched in the rain just to be able to watch a football match.

Well, the Azkals changed all that. =D

As I was on my way to work this morning, I was thinking about how much I miss school. College, to be exact.

A girl in her UST-Engineering uniform passed by, then I saw her bag tag and I thought, I want one of those. =)) It had a tiger and "rawr" on it.

Then the guy sitting next to me in the bus was from UST-Architecture. I saw his baller, and I thought I want one of those. It was a UST 400 baller.

The movie Who's That Girl starring Anne Curtis and Luis Manzano was being shown on the bus. Anne and Luis were college students from UST there. I saw the scenes they shot inside the campus. Oh how I miss my school.

This morning is a black gold black white morning. =))

I wonder when I'd be able to go back. Soon I hope. Maglalakad lakad lang ulit ako sa loob. Just like what I usually do. =))

I really miss school. The schedule, the people, the places, events, everything about it. It was like a haven, a place I knew I always had. Where I could be happy, sad, just be myself, and still be free.

Outside, it's different. Yes, I still could be happy, sad, be myself, and be free. But it's more complicated. At mas marami. Wider place, bigger audience. Exciting, yes, but scary at the same time.

Random thoughts on this nakakatamad na Monday morning.

TC!

Happy Birthday Dei! =D

P.S.
Please don't change UST's logo anymore? :s

So yesterday, everyone had to brave the rains, floods and wind just to be able to get home. Some were even stranded in the offices, some of my officemates included. I was lucky to get a ride going home from one of my officemates, but still had to pass through our flooded street. I had no other choice, it was just only a few steps away anyway, so might as well.

It's still raining today. Hopefully the rain would stop soon, so yesterday won't happen again. And luckily, no one gets stranded, and we'd all be able to go home safe and sound.

Looks like it'll be a rainy birthday weekend.

Thanks for the cake, Alvin. =D

It's tomorrow. Hopefully it'll all still be fun. =)

P.S.
Dapat may department rin for suspension of work days. LOL.
This is the only acceptable rain that won't give you any hassle. You'll even be sayin, more please! =D (Credits to plurk posts by Aja and Cheski. =P)

24 days before Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2.

19 days before the opening of the 74th season of the UAAP.

12 days before the Azkals home match against Sri Lanka.

8 days before Transformers 3.

4 days before June 25.

I'm not even sure if I'm consistent with the way I counted the days left before all those events are happening. =))

This day's kinda weird too. I don't know why, I just feel like it is.

Happy Birthday to one of my friends from UST, Kaye. :)

Happy Anniversary to Boom and Mia's show, On Demand. :)

Happy Anniversary to isparkleen.com. :)

Ciao for now!


P.S.

11 days before Vice Ganda's concert.

15 days before Kylie's concert.

28 days before David Archuleta's concert.

=))

Honestly, I didn't follow American Idol this season as much as the David vs. David season. Or at least I wasn't as excited. But, it does not mean that I don't like this season, or that I didn't watch at all. I just think I like more idol finalists from that season than from this season.


What made this season exciting for me at first was Thia Megia, the Fil-Am idol finalist. It's pretty self-explanatory why. I kind of liked Naima Adedapo too, she's unique, but just like Thia they didn't really stay in the competition that long. They were even eliminated at the same time.

So who's left with my favorites that I still kept on watching AI? Scotty. Scotty, Scotty, Scotty. The comment I always give him is about his very, very deep voice, which was also the reason why he really got my attention. He's only 17 and he's got a voice like that. Who wouldn't be surprised?! He was one of my favorites even during auditions with his 'Baby Lock Them Doors' version, and I was really excited when he made the Top 13. Aside from him I also liked Casey, Lauren, even Stefano, and James until my eardrums became bored with all the screaming in every James Durbin song. I was surprised that he got eliminated in the Top 4 but not that disappointed.


And then it was down to two. I haven't watched the whole top 2 perfomance night and final eliminations night shows, but by the time I post this, the final performance and results shows would all be over, and we all know who won...Scotty McCreery!!!

Aaaaaand I’m back! Because I don’t want this month to end without another blog post from me, let me just give you some updates.

I haven’t blogged about it yet, but I, together with my mom and my brother, went to the Panagbenga Festival 2011 in Baguio. Then the weekend right after that, I was back in Baguio for our company outing. I promise I will blog about those trips once I’ve transferred the pictures.

For the past few days, a friend has been confiding regarding a problem that he has. It is very surprising since we are really not that close, but ever since this unfortunate event, he has considered me to be one of his close friends. Ironic as it may sound but I am happy that I could help other people just by listening to them, and giving advices from time to time, and bonus is I’m gaining friends! Thank you! :)

In other news, the Azkals qualified for the 2012 AFC Challenge Cup! This is just another reason for Pinoys to celebrate and be proud of our country, especially these people who represent our country. Congratulations!

And in other sports news, the UST Tigers mean serious business in preparation for the coming UAAP Season 74. They have joined three leagues, the 2011 MBL Open basketball championship, the PBA D-League, and the 2011 FilOil Flying V Preseason Premier Cup which is the main preseason summer tournament between UAAP and NCAA teams. The MBL is not as popular as the other two leagues, but will still help the Tigers in the same way. They currently have two wins and no loss yet in the MBL, where they play as the UST-Ironcon Builders. UST is the only UAAP team to join the MBL.

This, I would just like to share to everyone. :)



If you want to take up ballroom dancing classes, or just dance for fun, for exercise, or for past time, try this studio. Studio 116 is located at Suite 135-B Ground Floor, LRI Plaza, 210 Nicanor Garcia St. (formerly Reposo St.), Bel-Air II, Makati City.

They have different kinds of classes, morning and evening. You don't need to have a partner to enroll, you could enroll by yourself and they will provide your partner when time comes that you need one. But, you could also enroll as a couple. The people here are really nice too, and the teachers are good. :)

I think they have dance classes every month. Check them out! :)

I heard a story over the radio yesterday, a love story to be specific. It was about this guy who fell for this girl when they were still in high school, but he never actually got to be with the girl even if he thought that time that she was ‘the one’, the girl that he was going to marry. He was persistent though, they had an open communication with each other even if they were both committed to other people, even telling stories to each other about their current relationships. The guy would make sure that he would make time for the girl whenever the girl came back to the Philippines from some other country. And when the girl’s about to come home, he would also do something that would make him and his current girlfriend quarrel.

So it seemed as if the guy never forgot about the girl, or whatever he had for the girl. While the girl really didn’t quite like the guy the way the guy liked her, at first. Eventually, she became into him too. According to the guy, they really didn’t become official girlfriend/boyfriend to each other, but now, after 10 years or so, they’re engaged to each other.

She was indeed ‘the one.’

A fitting example for the saying ‘good things come to those who wait.’

Who else could manage the same patience as this guy has? I wonder if I would be able to have the same kind of patience…or if I would meet a guy who’s that patient and/or persistent. Hahaha.

Valentine’s Day is 4 days away, but love is already in the air.

P.S.
Here’s what could be the start of something new. But it got rejected almost immediately. Oh well, as what it says, “Let’s try another day.” :))

I have this Bo Sanchez Soulfood Newsletter that I receive in my email frequently. I think it was my mom who got me into it. I'm not sure if it's weekly or monthly, but what I'm sure of is that I don't really read them, thinking that they're too serious. I just open the message, browse through it, and sometimes even delete it, or just simply ignore it. But this time, I actually cared to read one because I was intrigued by what's written on the subject: Warning: If You Don't Design Your Future, Someone Else Will

It turned out to be a really nice article. Not that serious really, and it made me remember the life stories that was at the back of the Kerygma magazines we used to get at school which had some really good stories. The short article made a whole lot of sense, though I'm sure only those who are or will be committed to it could actually do it. Below is the actual content of the email.

For many, Sunday is usually their family day. For us, it has to be any time of the week, as long as we’re together sharing nice stories with good food.

January 15, 2011 marked one of my Lola’s 83rd birthday. She is one of my mom’s aunts, and we are very close to her as well. She is the one who always cooks good food for us whenever we have family gatherings at their place. But that has now changed.

She is battling with the big C (lungs). She has had it for quite some time now, and she’s not taking medications anymore. She has done chemotherapy before, but has now refused the oral chemotherapy. We, as a family, have accepted whatever decision she’s made. All we could do is pray for her, care for her, and make her happy while she’s still with us; thus, the birthday party; and just let her do the things that she wants to do her way.

Angry Birds time!

JJ,Dei,Ella (Dei is supposed to be JJ and Ella's niece =P)

2011 has started, and everyone’s saying that this is going to be their year, it is time for a ‘new me’, and they generally just want to create and start something new in their lives. I believe it has always been that way every New Year, and there’s nothing totally wrong with it. It is actually a very positive outlook that we always want to try and be spanking new whenever a new year starts. It hinders idleness and gives us more room for growth.

This is where New Year’s resolutions come into view. We think about things that we want to change or we want to improve on, and list them, and hopefully be able to follow them faithfully as the year goes by. I honestly cannot follow my own new year’s resolutions faithfully if ever I create one. Probably that’s why I haven’t created one yet for this year. But, even though I don’t have my resolutions listed yet, I have been quite productive already, or so that’s what I think.

I have been able to actually cross off things in my ‘to do list’ for the day. Last Monday, I had things in mind that I needed to buy, and I actually was able to buy if not all, a majority of those things. Including this little notebook, bookmark, and pens that I bought for myself.

*I'm trying to revamp my blog so forgive me if I won't be posting as much for now. :)*



....and Quadricentennial Celebration na! :)