think rainbows

I have a problem, and I need your help.

You see, I am in love. Rather, I think I am in love, with someone I know I can't have.

And I can't seem to determine when enough is enough.

Question: When you love someone, even if you know you can't have them, do you stop loving them?
Follow-up question: And if you do, how?

Don't tell me to find other people to give your attention to, because I've been there, and it doesn't always work. Find stuff to do so that you won't always think about the situation; but what happens when you're not doing those stuff? Right, you still think about it.

See? I don't know what to do. Or is it because everytime I think about a solution or an answer to my questions, I always have a follow-up question? Or, could it be because I just don't really want to stop? But I feel like I NEED to, I feel like I HAVE to.

Question no.2: Okay, so let's say you don't stop loving them, since it's always good to give love. How do you do that from afar? How do you do that when all you want is for them to love you back? And even if they say that they do, it's still not THAT kind of love; or at least not at 100%. How do you do it without getting/feeling hurt even just a bit?

It may sound selfish but it's the truth. All you'd want is for that someone you love to love you back, right? And just like what the lyrics of the song Selfish by Nsync says, "You can call me selfish, but all I want is your love."

It's so hard to find contentment in this world because of all the things that we WANT. I read quotes and sayings here and there that could help, but in reality they oppose each other.

Just like what I'm experiencing. I know exactly where I should stand. I know exactly my part. But what I do is actually different from what I really should be doing. I keep on telling myself a lot of things but I don't always follow what I say. There are times that I do, but not for long.

It is complicated. Sometimes I really don't understand myself anymore. Even if I make a decision, I still bend it. It keeps coming back. I'd like to think that these comebacks have some sort of a meaning in them. But wherever I check, with how things are looking, there's none.

Waiting has always been the name of the game for me. When will it change?

Can I make this less complicated? Can I turn this around? What to do? Should I just be happy and contented with what I have while I still have it?

Help?

P.S.
I hope this time, waiting won't take another 21 years.

The strength that people see on the outside doesn't always reflect what's on the inside.