think rainbows

*this post is long over due, i've been blogging but i'm not able to post them all here..this particular post is also included in the notes section of my facebook account :)*


Have you ever had that feeling that sometimes time seems to fly by so fast, and all you’d want is to just slow things down a bit?

I’ve been feeling that way since last week I think, and this is not the first time. When I started working that was the time that I felt this way, and I kind of didn’t like it. Well, I didn’t recognize it yet at first, until later in my first few months as an ‘employee’. There were times that the days seem to end so fast, the weeks seem short, and the weekends are not enough. Well, most of the time the weekends are not enough, really. Sometimes I wish we had a four-day work week, and a 3-day weekend. That would be enough right?

If you’re busy, most of the time you won’t notice what time it is anymore. You would just be surprised that it’s already lunch time, or it’s already 5 o’clock and you’re about to go home. Time is very precious, and yet, sometimes we don’t take advantage of it or use it the way we’d want to. Time is given away freely, and it’s better if we grab the opportunity to make good use of it.
We’ll say that we don’t have any choice especially if we’re at the office and we have to stay there the whole 8 hours a day. True enough, I feel the same way. I feel like I don’t hold my own time during those 8 hours a day. That I have to spend every second, every minute, every hour in the office, in front of my computer, doing the tasks that need to be done. And waiting for time to pass by, I think that is the most ironic activity that makes time fly by so fast, and yet, also make the seconds, the minutes, the hours seem to last longer.

Usually I can’t wait for the day to be over during weekdays. That I’ll be able to get out of the office and spend some stolen moments after work. That’s the time that I try to at least make the day longer, or at least, try to slow things down a bit and make the most out of the time that I have for my own. Either I spend it alone, or I spend it with friends, or just chill out at home. It’s also a bit of a break from a daily routine that I’m sort of doing, wake up-go to work-go home from work-sleep. That’s about it. And also one of the reasons why I always think of ways to go out with friends after work, even just for a simple dinner, or a simple chat, or even just for a walk before I go home. I find it very refreshing.

Right now, I wish things would slow down a bit. I wish during the long weekend for the holy week, time would at least slow down a bit. That I’ll be able to do a lot with the time I have. Days fly by so fast. Seems like 2010 just started, and yet it’s March, nearing April already. Seems like I only started working, and yet it’s already been a year since my college graduation, and now I’m nearing my first anniversary at work. Wow. I wish there was a ‘slow motion’ button somewhere and I could use it to just slow things down a bit. Hahaha.

I don’t feel bad; it’s just that I feel like time is wasted. Especially when I’m not doing anything productive at all? I could use it for some other things that are worth the time. And another thing that I think could make more productive use of time? Creating memories. I also wish to create more memories. I just wish I could have more time for myself, for other things, and not let the opportunities just pass. Sayang e. I guess I’m wanting to do a looot of things for myself.

February 12, 2010

There are some things in life that you don’t get that easily. Not everyone’s lucky. But you can be, and you will be, in time. It may also depend on what it is that you’re looking for. You might have already found it but you let it slip away, or you didn’t notice it. How would you know? I guess you’ll just know it when it comes.

What would you do if finally, something you’ve been long waiting for has finally arrived? When something that you’ve always wanted and wished for has already come true? How would you feel? How would you react?

Excitement is the first thing that comes into mind. You can’t escape the fact that once it happens, you’ll feel those butterflies in your stomach and you just can’t hide the smiles. You’re always feeling happy, light, like there’s not a single problem in this world that you have to worry about. It’s something that will never leave your thoughts for a long time, and still give you smiles once you remember. It’s just pure bliss at that moment.

I’ve wished for a lot to happen in my life, I’ve asked for some things that I didn’t know when I would ever have. But then everyone gets their chance, and I got mine as well. It was something I’ve long waited for, something that’s not new to many of us, but not everyone has. It was something I’ve learned to understand and wanted to have since I first felt that hard beating in my chest like my heart wants to come out of it. I envied those who had it; I felt jealous of those who owned them; I wondered when I will finally be the one in their shoes. And when I already had it, I didn’t want to let it go. It was new to me, a different experience in a very good way. I was happy and content. I wanted it to last, for as long as it could. I wanted it to stay. I was in such delight. But as they say, nothing is permanent in this world, except for change.

That time would also come, that you’ll have to learn to let go of the things you treasure the most. Sometimes you don’t know why, or how, if it was your fault or not, but it happens. It will hurt, and you have to go through it. You have to face it, and you have to survive it. If you still have it at the end, that’s your bonus. But if you don’t, you’ll have to get used to it. You can hope and pray that it comes back; of course it’s not easy to give up. But if it still doesn’t work out, you’ll have to learn when you should already let go and move on. Just thinking about it is already hard, but it is part of growing up and it’s not an easy process. Everyone experiences it, in different forms, in different situations, but still all the same. It is part of becoming who you are, and being strong despite the “barriers” of happiness in your life.

February 10, 2010


I’ve read a blog post yesterday about how sometimes you feel bad for someone who’s having problems, and all you’d want to do is help that person but you just can’t. It’s either they don’t want any help at all, or you just can’t help them because you don’t know how. I’ve related myself so much to this post because right now, I’m feeling the exact same thing.

There are times when people want you to mind your own business, or just don’t think about them and just leave them alone. Especially when they’ve got big problems on their shoulders, and they think that they can handle it themselves, and they want to actually handle it themselves because they don’t want to bother other people with their own problems. How big the problem may be, or how bad they might be feeling, they don’t want you feeling bad for them too. It’s like they’re shutting you out because they don’t want to give you something to think about or worry about. Well that sucks, at least for me.

For anyone who’s got friends or loved ones who have problems, the first thing that comes to our minds is how can I help them, or what can I do to help them? How can I at least make them feel better? How can I at least lessen the burdens that they’re carrying, and make them feel that they’re not alone? That there’s someone who wants to help them, who wants to be there for them, and who’s willing to help them. How will I be able to do that from a distance? And how will you be able to help if they’re not even asking for any help?

I know it sounds kind of “makulit” or “usisera” or “mapilit” but I think nobody should handle their problems alone. Or at least, let other people help you in other ways, if you don’t want them meddling with your own problems. Surely you’ve got to figure the solution yourself, but at least let them be there. You don’t have to shut them out, or shut yourself out from them just because you don’t want them feeling bad for you, or worrying about you. You don’t have to be alone because nobody wants to be alone. That’s why you have your friends and family. Talk to them at least, tell them your problems. Don’t hesitate to ask for their help because they are more than willing to help. It’s their job to worry about you and feel bad when you feel bad. It’s their job to make you feel better when you’re feeling down. It’s their job to be there for you at all times, or at least try to be. And at least, let them do their job because they want to do it. Just at least let them be there for you, and remember that they're around you. It might make you feel a whole lot better.

*Look for the missing text :)*

My first post for 2010; and tt's now the 14th day of the year 2010!
How's the new year been treating you so far?
I'm sure everyone's looking forward to what this year has in store for them.
For me, it's still a bit the same, but a bit different as well.
Just like after the holidays, for the previous years, after the holidays we go back to school. But for this year, I go back to work. Big difference right?
Oh well, I hope we all started our year right, and that all of us did enjoy the holidays. Me, my mom and my kuya went to church last January 1st, then we spent the whole day with other members of the family, on my mom's side. We had our family reunion which we always have during the new year. (I think that's why our family is still as strong as ever. :))

Now that it's the year 2010 already, I haven't gone back and looked at how the year 2009 has treated me. I haven't recalled the events that has happened in the year 2009 that has either made me very happy, very sad, excited, angry, or whatever. And now I'm gonna do it, just like what I've always done. It's like a summary report of my year or something. Anyway, here it goes...

JANUARY
What I remember is that I was really looking forward to the year 2009. First and foremost because of all the things in store for me that year. It was the first new year that I celebrated that I have a boyfriend, and I was really excited about that, because we were starting a new year together, and I know a lot of things would happen. Then, we have our graduation, it was pretty exciting but at the same time, it was a bit sad as well. But then there's also the excitement of what is out there once we have graduated. So this time, we were busy with school work, org work, and a lot of other 'work', haha.
New babies! -We had two new babies this year, Elyza and Cody. :)

FEBRUARY
Thesis Defense. -Passed! Though one prof gave us a hard time...pft! Well thanks to our thesis adviser Ma'am Cha, and to our outside support, and of course to my thesismates, Hanami and Joyce. =D
Valentine's Day. -I received my first ever bouquet of flowers, of course from my one and only, :)
ORG work. -We always had ORG work, I think...=D Especially this time, for the Eng'g. Week.
My first kiss. :) ♥
A lot of other school stuff. -SRM project, that we weren't able to submit on time.
(can't remember the other school stuff really, haha)

MARCH
Meet the Parents. -This was a program for the parents of the graduating students, I think this is only in Engineering. There was a parent speaker, a student speaker, and an AVP from each class from a certain course.
Baccalaureate Mass. -So much fun! Mass for the graduating students from the University of Santo Tomas, the walk/parade thru the Arc of the Centuries, party time, and of course, fireworks!
GRADUATION. -March 28, 2009 at the PICC. This was it, what we worked hard for, for 4 years. Although we already did other graduation stuff, the mass, the meet, the reservation and fitting of the toga, the orientation, I really didn't feel the graduation itself yet, not until I was there at the venue, wearing my toga, waiting for my name to be called, and waiting to go up the stage. Kuya also had his graduation, March 26, 2009. :)
Graduation Party. -The time I introduced Ifor to my dad. Not as my boyfriend yet, hahaha. I only told my dad when I got home after the party, and I got a looooot of advices. Then I told my mom the next day, and got another set of advices as well, haha. :)
Unfortunately, one of may dad's brothers died during this month.

APRIL
Nothing much for April, except maybe for the fact that I signed my contract for work during this month. And now I remember, it was during this month that Ifor was able to go to our place while my dad is there. I think it went well. :)
I've been missing school already this time, because I know I won't be going back anymore, with my classmates, school activities and stuff. And we weren't doing the clearance, the pre-sectioning, and the enrollment stuff anymore.

MAY
WORK. -May 4 was my official start date for work. It was supposed to be in April, but I asked if I could just start in May because my dad was still here that time.(April) Hmmm...I was kind of excited, but at the same time nervous. But I was lucky, as well as some of my other classmates, because we were able to find work immediately right after graduating.
Outings. -We had an outing, me and my cousins, during this month. We went to EK and then went to this place for swimming. :) We also had the company outing, during the last weekend of May I think.
New friends. -I've made some new friends! :) Some of the newbies I was with during the start of my training at work. =P
First salary. -I received my first salary of course on the 15th, and of course I treated Ifor, and my mom and kuya I think. Haha.
Half a year. -This was also our 6th month, me and Ifor, and still counting.:)

JUNE
My Birthday! -For the first time, I was the one who had to handle the expenses for my birthday celebration. :) Then I also received a cake from the office, which they always do for the birthday celebrants. I was also able to celebrate my birthday with Ifor. :)
PCD Concert. -The Pussycat Dolls concert! What a way to celebrate our monthsary. June 11, 2009 at the MOA concert grounds. I think this was also both our first concert to attend, and what better way to do it than with each other. :)

JULY
I think there was nothing much for July...or I just really can't remember, hahaha.
Oh, I remember now, this was our 7th month together and I bought the Sudoku board game Ifor had always wanted. :)

AUGUST
Ifor's birthday.:) - I had a really hard time thinking of what to give Ifor for his birthday. So I ended up with two cards, a shirt, and a Paulo coelho book. :) Unfortunately I wasn't able to go to his birthday celebration, because I wasn't allowed to, and because of an unexpected event.
Another unfortunate event, my lola, my last grandparent, passed away this month, really surprising us all.

SEPTEMBER
10th month - We're in double digits! Haha.
Other than that, I can't think of any exciting happenings during this month.

OCTOBER
11th month - We're nearing the 12th month! :)
As well as for this month. Except that during mom's birthday celebration, Ifor was there, because my mom had her birthday celebration during our monthsary. =P

NOVEMBER
11.11.09 - The much awaited date; Our anniversary. Played bowling for the first time together. :) ♥♥♥
Regular - This was also my 6th month in the office, which makes me a regular employee already.

DECEMBER
Yoshi's 1st year - Yoshi is 1 year old as well. :)
Reunions/Trips - Some of our relatives from the States came home for the holidays. Including my cousin, who was a surprise, which we haven't seen for almost 7 years I think. That's why we had a lot of reunions or celebrations and stuff. I also had my first trip at La Mesa Eco Park.
Our first EK trip; me and Ifor. Together with Ate Libay and Bryan.
For the first time, was able to buy gifts from my own money. :) - Once again, had a hard time thinking of gifts for relatives, and for Ifor.
Paskuhan. - We were still able to attend Paskuhan; me, Ifor, and our other college classmates and friends. And this time, it was super bongga! There were a lot of celebrities, and the fireworks were amazing. It was also a kick-off for the countdown of the quadricentennial celebration of UST. Thomasians, we should all watch out for that. :)

Have you noticed something about that summary or whatever?
He's always included in every month, right? Haha.
Well, that's good isn't it, knowing that although we're not able to see each other very often, still he's made his presence felt throughout last year. And besides, he was the latest addition in my life, and he made it more exciting. Or at least I was pretty excited about us, :)
Hopefully it's still gonna be the same for this year, but of course, with a bit of difference. Hopefully we get to see each other more often this year, than that of the last year.

Sadly I lost two relatives, but on the other hand, we also gained two!
Elyza, my niece, and Cody, my second cousin. :)

And of course, I know that there are a lot of other things that I wasn't able to mention here in my blog, but that doesn't mean that they're not of importance. Thanks to everyone who's been a part of my 2009. Hopefully I'll still see you in my 2010. :)

Obviously, here I am, blogging my last blog for 2009.
In a few hours, we''ll all be having our media noche and will be welcoming the year 2010!
I'm sure everyone's hoping for a better year ahead, and that we could all leave the not-so-good happenings for the year 2009.

I haven't been able to blog during Christmas because it was a bit busy, so I'm just gonna do it now. Luckily I was able to file my leaves for this holiday season, because I know that we'll be having a lot of "surprise schedules" or whatever you may want to call 'em for the holidays. Knowing for a fact that my mom's uncle and aunt went here from the States for the holidays, as well as my uncle and cousin. And, well, I was right.

I am proud to say that I have been able to complete the 9 days of the Simbang Gabi. =D
Although i've been going to the anticipated mass at 8pm, still, I was able to complete it. And I'm real happy that I was able to. Also, I am really happy that I was able to go to Paskuhan this year! It was really great, with the fireworks, and all of the other stars there, and the performances. I'm glad I didn't miss it, and I was able to see some of my classmates again! =D
Then last December 22, my mom and I fetched my uncle and cousin from the airport, and then bit by bit they surprised everyone, because only my aunt and my mom knew that they were gonna be spending the holidays here. Then on December 23, I had to do a super last minute shopping for my shoes and Ifor's gift. We also had a surprise birthday treat for my cousin that day. (her birthday was on December 22) Then on the 24th, we prepared for noche buena, then we had some Christmas eve shots together with the other members of the family. December 25th, we went to Pasay where we spent the whole Christmas day with the whole family on my mom's side, and with lots of fooooood. We went on the afternoon of the 25th to MOA, to do some girl bonding-slash-shopping, which was soooooo crowded, and luckily we were able to survive the mob of people there. I think I'm never going back there during Christmas day. Not unless we really need to.

December 26th was our rest day, then on the 27th, we had our family reunion, my mom and her siblings together with our cousins had lunch at home then we went to Manila Memorial Park because it was our lola's birthday. We spent the afternoon there and went straight to MOA (again) to have our dinner at Gilligan's. Then after dinner, we went around the mall, which has lesser people, and finally went home. The 28th and 29th were both supposed-to-be rest days in preparation for new year, but I went with my aunt and uncles and cousins to La Mesa Eco Park. The park was really nice, it was a nice day to just roam around and hang out, but it was tiring. Then we went to Greenhills, and Eastwood, and then went home. There's a lot more pending activities for us together with our cousin, we haven't even had our night out yet, haha.

Yesterday, the 30th, Ifor and I were finally able to see each other! The last time we saw each other was on the 20th of December, he accompanied me to MOA because I needed to buy some stuff, then because we were both busy during the holidays, we didn't know how we were to meet up. Finally, we were both free yesterday, so he went here at home, then I was finally able to give him his gift-polvoron and a headset/earphones. Luckily he agreed to come here, if not, then we were just to see each other after new year for sure. I really missed him, so I was really excited when he told me that he was to come here yesterday.
I hope 2010 will really be good for us, not just for our relationship, but for each of us as well. He'll be graduating this March, and hopefully he finds a good job after graduation, because I know he has a lot of responsibilities coming, and his dreams, most especially for his family. (hopefully i'm included...hahaha!)

We also had the family reunion on my dad's side, so we went to Bulacan to have dinner with family, and spend some time together. Then today, the 31st, I had my haircut with my mom this morning, and we bought some other stuff for later. New look for the new year, haha. I hope we'll have a good time spending new year's eve and eating the food for media noche. I even bought some fireworks for later, which I hope will be nice. And there's vodka! hahaha...

Well, this is my last blog for 2009.
Farewell 2009, Welcome 2010!
I hope we all have a whole lot better year ahead of us all. =)

okay, it's December already, and I just thought i'd do an end-of-the-year-slash-December blog or something..or that's just my excuse for just wanting to blog..=D

Today's December4, 21 days before christmas, 27 days before 2010! Can you imagine that, it seems like last week was just February, we were awaiting our thesis defense, the other day was just March and we were having our Baccalaureate Mass, and yesterady was just May and I was just starting with work. And now we're approaching a new year. Woah. Talk about fast!

But really, things have been different since I started working. I think I'm starting to understand what they say that you tend to age early or immediately when you are working. Because when you're working, or at work, time flies sooo fast. (especially when you're counting the hours/minutes to your time out) As in really fast, sometimes you'll just be surprised that the weekend's over already, and you have to work again, and then suddenly it's Friday already again. It's just so different. But I'm still missing a lot. Stuff I or we were able to do when we were still inside the UST campus.

One example is the feel of the holiday season. Compared to when I was still studying, I think it's only November but I could already feel the holiday season. That is, at school. Because you can see the maintenance people setting up the big christmas tree at the main field, or you could see them setting up lights on the trees along the lovers' lane, or they're already putting up decorations on the main building. And after classes when you walk around the campus at night, you could really feel the cool air. And you hear about christmas parties, or some other preparations for christmas activities and stuff from a lot of people around the campus or even just within our College. Compared here in our place of work, the preparations are different, simple, and there are really not that many christmas decorations outside. And yes I could still feel the cool air but I couldn't enjoy it. So see, it's just so different and how I wish I could at least still go around the campus with all the lights and christmas decorations, and even on my way home, I see a lot of lights and decorations, especially in Manila. And I'm looking forward to spending some time at night aroung the UST campus once again, before they remove the christmas decorations, haha. I just miss it. :)

We don't have christmas decorations at home yet, though kuya already set up the capiz parol outside. I hope we could put up the christmas tree at least before Simbang Gabi starts. Simbang Gabi starts on the 16th right? (15th for the anticipated mass.) Have you completed those 9 masses ever? I have, before, and I hope I could complete it again this time, just because I'd want to. It's just a different feeling when you're able to complete all the 9 masses, never mind the wish, hahaha. And I think I'll try to attend some of the masses sa madaling araw talaga, I miss going home after mass and eating newly cooked puto bumbong and bibingka for breakfast, yumyum! =D

Oh and another thing that I miss is the long holiday, I don't think it's gonna be like that here at work, or at least I could do that but I have to file my leaves pa, haha. And the Paskuhan, I don't know if I'll be able to go to this year's Paskuhan, but I do hope that I can, together with my friends and/or classmates of course. =D I'm missing a lot! Hahaha. I'm planning to buy a journal/planner. I just haven't chosen yet between the Belle de jour (not sure with the spelling, please bear with me) or the one from freespeech publications or something. The one with the "This journal will actually change someone's life!" or something. I think the Starbucks planner is just too formal for me, and besides, I'd have to spend a lot and take in a lot of calories just to be able to get that planner. =P Help me choose! Hahaha. I have to buy a planner/journal before christmas at least, baka maubusan ako, and of course i have to have that before the year ends! =P

P.S.
Regarding my previous blog, I wasn't able to go with my college friends last Saturday, we had to practice for our performance for the office christmas party on the 11th. Sayang, i hope there's still a next time. Goodness, i hope we'll do good on our performance, i'm nervous, i don't wanna mess up, hahaha.

P.P.S.
This is not an end-of-the-year blog pala, just a December blog maybe. I haven't summarized my 2009 yet e. =P

I wish I could just blog more often. But then...oh well, at least I could still blog from time to time. =))

Last Saturday, November 21, I went to Eastwood with some of my closest friends from college. That was the first time I was able to go out with them again after college. And that was the first time that I saw some of them since our graduation last March. HAHAHA. I know, ang tagal na nun!

The real purpose of that gala was to surprise Angeli. It's actually her despedida. The original plan was to watch New Moon then she will treat us or something, for her despedida nga. But since no one confirmed if they are available for Saturday, she thought that hindi na matutuloy. But Joyce thought that we could just surprise her. Fortunately, almost all of us were available that Saturday, and we were able to give Angeli a good surprise! It's so nice to surprise somebody and see that they really were surprised, hahaha.

We ate first, then decided to play sa Timezone after strolling around the new Eastwood mall, then nag-Videoke din. Inubos lang yung card sa timezone then we went home na rin. Napagod kami lahat dun sa last na nilaro namin, I can't remember what's it called, basta yung may binabato ka. And ang dami na naming bumabato, but na-fail pa rin kami ng dalawang beses, hahaha.

This Saturday, we will be watching New Moon daw, sana payagan ako, haha, because I really enjoyed their company again last Saturday, and I'm sure mag-e-enjoy din kami this coming Saturday. =D And we still have one more Timezone card para ubusin, hahaha...

*i'm looking forward to seeing my other college classmates as well! sana matuloy yung christmas party, =D*