think rainbows

Heartbreak is not a new word in my vocabulary, or for anyone for that matter. I’ve experience a number of them, whether it be in love, school, academics, personal, competitions, or yes, even sports. Some are bigger than the others, some are more unforgettable than the others, but whatever it is, they’re all just the same, it still gives you that profound feeling in your heart, it’s still unfortunate.

I may sound boastful, but I’ve never had a line of 7 for a grade, until Biology arrived. It was just in one quarter though, my grade was 79, but it was a heartbreak since that was my first line of 7 grade ever. I was able to make up for it though, during third year high school, when I ended up as one of the outstanding students in our batch. Other heartbreaks came from my crushes having girlfriends and the like, but it wasn’t that much of a big deal. Probably I’m just already used to it. College came, and this is where a lot more heartbreaks have happened.

The cheering squad was the closest I could get to cheering for UST, since the Salinggawi was impossible. I still didn’t push thru with it, giving myself my own dose of heartbreak. Adding to that, one of the biggest heartbreakers I could remember is during the Game 1 of the UAAP Season 69 Finals between UST and Ateneo. UST was up by 1 point with only 2 seconds remaining in the fourth, then a Doug Kramer shot won it for Ateneo instead. But this was forgotten for UST still ended up with the UAAP Season 69 Men’s Basketball Championship, and UST SDT’s 5-peat championship as well. Second year college second semester was the last semester we were to have our PE classes. I chose social dance, since I’ve wanted to have dance as my PE class ever since first year and fortunately, and finally, I was able to. I met this one person from our PE class whom I never thought was going to give me a heartbreak, but well, yes, he did, although unknowingly. Probably the only consolation I could get from there was that I was able to perform during IPEA week, made new friends, and getting a 1.00. And then one subject almost, but not quite, made me feel really terrible. I almost failed it; my final grade during consultation was already failed. Fortunately the professor still had to adjust the grades, and when he did, I passed. (And I’ve never failed a subject since then.) The heartbreak from the PE guy lasted long, probably it was the worst by then, but in time, I was able to recover. The Engineering Men’s Basketball team also added to some of my heartbreaks. They lost closely to Commerce I think in a championship game, but previous to that, I’ve seen the team win a championship. School works could be considered as a greater part for these heartbreaks, there were always failed exams and unfinished projects, but we could still make up for that. Other heartbreaks are just really irrevocable, and all that you can do is deal with it, and then move on.

As they say, you can’t have it all. It started during fourth year college, but it ended quite unexpectedly after a year of mixed up but fun happenings; my first boyfriend and I broke up. It wasn’t that clear though, but still, it was over. That was a major heartbreak right there, the worst of it all. This is the kind that I said was irrevocable, and I had to deal with and face the truth. It was extremely hard, but with the ever loyal help of family, and friends, I endured it.

For a while, the series of unfortunate events that I’ve had are usually office stuff, (I won’t elaborate on that anymore) and UAAP stuff. Salinggawi hasn’t won a championship yet again since their 2006 championship, and the men’s basketball have failed to make it to the top again, since their 2006 championship as well. And now, a new season of the UAAP has arrived. Salinggawi has yet to win back the crown for UST in the cheerdance competition, and the men’s basketball team has yet to win another game after losing for four consecutive games already. Their latest was the biggest heartbreaker of a game, a double overtime loss to Adamson. UST was fortunate to bring the game to an overtime, and they had that game, if they were only able to make the free throws and lessened their errors and turnovers. They had a lot of chances to win the game, but the game just wasn’t for them. I think I did cry a bit after the game; seeing the frustration in their faces, I know they wanted and did everything they could to win the game. I’m still happy for them, because they’ve exceeded the critics’ expectations of them, ranking them at 8th, they’re now tied with NU at fifth spot. I just wish that they stay at the fifth spot if they don’t make it to the final four, since right now their bid for the final four is on the rocks.

I’ve seen what have happened after the other heartbreaks, but I have yet to see what would happen with my latest heartbreak. I have moved on though sometimes I still think about it, and wish the game have ended the other way around. I know this has a reason, I just don’t know it yet. With the way the Tigers have been playing, they’ve already proven that they’re not what most people predicted, a cellar dweller of a team. They just need to play better basketball, and gain more experience. People could blame their losses on their young experience, but they’ve matched up to teams who have far more veterans than they have, and they weren’t bad at all. So better watch out for their next games, especially next season; you just have provoked these Tigers and made them deadlier. I just have to wait for the good counterpart in all of these. Go Tigers! Bawi Gawi! Go USTe! :)

As I am writing this entry, I’ve noticed how every heartbreak has a counterpart of a good thing. This is why I’ve always thought of the saying that everything happens for a reason. Though I forget it sometimes, I try to stick with it, to lessen the pain that comes with these heartbreaks. Each heartbreak has made me strong, definitely, even if it’s tough. And events like these are what keep me going. I know they have a good reason for happening, because He knows what’s best for me, for all of us. It may be hard to accept, we might not realize it at once, but that’s part of life, we have to face it no matter what.