think rainbows

I wonder if this template is too dark for my blog?
I'm still in the process of finding the perfect template/layout for my blog, I just haven't found time to create my own personal layout yet. :|
And forgive the picture, haha.

Oh, and happy labor day!
:)

Ang Aking Buhay Simbahan

Noong nasa Grade 6 ako, na-introduce sa akin ang Luke 18, sa pamamagitan ni Teacher Lanie na noon ay teacher namin sa Sibika. Isang youth group sa St.Joseph Parish, Bamboo Organ na para sa mga kabataang tulad ko na nasa Grade 6, hanggang sa mga kabtaang nasa 3rd year high school. Sumali ako dahil karamihan sa aking mga kaklase at kaibigan ay sumali. At naisip ko, mukhang exciting siya, kaya naman masayang masaya ako nung pinayagan ako nila Mama. ‘Yun ata ang first time na sa ibang lugar ako natulog, at hindi sa bahay. Kahit na malapit lang siya sa bahay, o sa school lang din ginawa, iba pa rin ang feeling na ang mga kasama mo matulog ay mga kasama mo rin sa school araw-araw. Marami akong nakilalang mga bagong kaibigan doon. Sabi nga nila, ‘yung batch na yata namin ang may pinaka-maraming sumali. At siyempre proud kami at masaya kami dun. Mga noon ay nakikita ko lang sa corridor, naging kabatian ko na rin sila pagkatapos ng Luke 18 Weekend Experience. Nakilala ko rin dito sila Ate Tess, Kuya King, Kuya Joseph, Kuya Conrad, Ate Riann, Ate Dang, atbp. Ilan lamang sila sa aming mga naging facilitator noon, na talaga namang hindi ko makakalimutan. Natutuwa pa ako kapag nakikita ko sila noon sa school at nakakabatian, naalala nila ako! :)

Pagkatapos ng weekend experience ay ang mga lingo-linggong meeting naman. Mahirap magpaalam para sa mga meeting, pero sinusubukan ko pa rin na makapunta palagi. Lalo na noon na nagsisimula pa lang ako matutong mag-commute mag-isa. Hanggang sa nung nag-high school ako, ay hindi na ako masyado naging active. Sabi ko nun sa sarili ko, gusto ko maging katulad nila Ate Tess, gusto ko rin maging facilitator sa weekend experience. Kaya naman nung nawala ako sa parish, akala ko ay hindi na matutupad ‘yung pagiging faci ko. Hanggang sa dumating ang 3rd year high school, nagkaroon ng Luke 18 Weekend Experience part 2 nung panahon na ‘yun. Pagkakataon para muling bumalik sa parish. Nakasama ako, kahit wala na ang mga ka-close ko doon, kahit iba na ang mga kasama ko. At kahit ganun ay nag-enjoy pa rin ako, at masaya akong nakabalik ako.

Nag-4th year kami, dumating ang Antioch, pero hindi ako nakasali. Dumating din naman ang Jazz Up, kung saan ay nakilala ko si Kuya Danes. Tinuruan niya kami ng sayaw, pati ni Kuya Joseph, at talaga namang ang saya ng experience na yun. Iba yung feeling nung nagsayaw na kami. Bukod sa hilig ko talaga ang pagsasayaw, masaya lang talaga ‘yung experience na ‘yun. Tuwang tuwa ako, at siyempre ay may mga bagong kaibigan muli. Dito ko rin nabalitaan ang tungkol sa College Group (CG), at sabi ko talaga sa sarili ko na doon ako sasali, promise talaga, sasali ako doon.

Sa 7 to 7 recollection, na-introduce sa amin ang CG. Si Kuya Danes ang coordinator ng CG ng panahong ‘yun, at si Ate Luann. Agad agad, pagkatapos ng 7 to 7 recollection ay kumuha ako ng form para makasali sa CG.

Excited ako noon, dahil alam kong makakabalik ako sa parish. Panibagong grupo, panibagong mga kaibigan, panibagong experience. Kabado ako nung unang meeting ng CG. Siyempre hindi ko kilala ang mga nandun. At sa pagkakaalala ko ay wala akong mga kakilala pa dito, or kaklase man lang nung high school. (‘Yung iba kasi, nasa Antioch pa.) Pero nakakatuwa dahil katulad ng ibang grupo sa parish, mababait ang mga Ate at Kuya doon. Doon ay nakilala ko rin sila Ate Julie, Ate Karen, Ate Xy, Ate Baby, atbp. Enjoy ang unang meeting, at sabi ko sa sarili ko, magpapaka-active na ko. Maraming mga bagong kaibigan muli ang nakilala ko sa CG. Sila ang mga lalo pang nagpapasaya ng mga meeting sa CG. Masaya akong kasama sila, masaya akong nakilala ko sila.

Marami akong na-experience sa CG. Karamihan ata sa buhay simbahan ko e nasa CG ako nung nangyari ang mga iyon. Kahit na mahirap pa rin magpaalam para pumunta ng parish, na dilemma naman ata ng karamihan, sinusubukan ko pa rin na maka-attend ng mga activities sa parish, at ng mga meeting sa CG. Kahit na hindi ako nakaka-attend ng mga retreat at camping ng CG, okay lang. Dumating din ‘yung panahon na excited akong mag-Sunday dahil alam kong may CG meeting. (Pero minsan ay kabado rin dahil iniisip ko kung ano na naman kaya ang ipapagawa sa amin. Pero exciting din naman. =P) Kakaiba ang experience habang nasa CG ako. At nitong mga panahon na ‘to saka ko na-experience ang mga gusto kong ma-experience noon; nakapag-sayaw ako sa Easter Vigil Mass, nakasali sa 7 last words, at, nakapag-facilitate ako sa Luke 18. Sobrang saya ko nung nagawa ko ‘yung mga bagay na ‘yun. Kakaiba ang feeling, kaya talaga namang thankful ako at nakilala ko ang CG. Kung hindi dahil sa CG, hindi ko magagawa ang mga bagay na ‘yun.

Bukod sa lahat ng mga meeting, activities, bagong kaibigan, at experiences, siyempre ay hindi ko rin malilimutan na sa pamamagitan ng mga grupong ito ay mas naging malapit ako kay God. Ito naman ang puno’t dulo ng lahat ng mga ginagawa namin, kaya naman kakaiba talaga ang feeling. Nag-e-enjoy ka na, nakakapag-serve ka pa kay God at pati na rin sa ibang tao.

Bakit ko nag ba sinusulat ‘to ngayon? Siguro dahil lang sa namimiss ko na ang buhay simbahan na naranasan ko noon. Oo aaminin ko, naiinggit ako sa mga kaibigan kong hanggang ngayon ay nakakapag-serve pa rin sa parish, nasa CG pa rin, o di kaya’y may handle na sila na grupo. Nakakainggit man, nakakatuwa rin, dahil kung iisipin mo, minsan ay part lang din kami ng grupong Luke 18, Antioch, CG, at ngayon ay may sarili na silang grupo na nahahandle. Hindi ko rin natupad ‘yung sinabi ko na magpapaka-active na rin ako. Hindi ko napagpatuloy. Na ngayon ay naiisip ko, sana nagawa ko. Nagsimula sa isang araw na hindi naka-attend ng meeting, hindi naka-attend ng mga activity, hanggang sa nagtuloy-tuloy na. Pero hindi naman ako umayaw, at hinding hindi ko nalimutan ang CG, hanggang sa Luke 18 na pinagmulan ko. Pati ‘yung butterfly awards na pinakahihintay ko noon hindi ko napuntahan. (‘Yung award ko... :( hahaha...) Sayang lahat, ‘no? Pero alam ko naman na may mali rin ako. Nagkulang ako, nagkulang ako sa gawa, dahil hindi ko nagawa ‘yung mga salitang binitawan ko. Bakit nga ba hindi ko na magawa ‘yung mga bagay na nagawa ko noon. Lagi ako nagtatanong kung pwede pa ba bumalik, at sinasabi rin naman nila ay oo. Oo, gusto ko, pero ngayon, gusto ko, pag nagdesisyon ako, ‘yung mapaninindigan ko na. Namimiss ko lang siguro talaga. Basta isa lang ang alam ko, masaya doon. Salamat sa kanila. Salamat sa Kanya.

:)

*this post is long over due, i've been blogging but i'm not able to post them all here..this particular post is also included in the notes section of my facebook account :)*


Have you ever had that feeling that sometimes time seems to fly by so fast, and all you’d want is to just slow things down a bit?

I’ve been feeling that way since last week I think, and this is not the first time. When I started working that was the time that I felt this way, and I kind of didn’t like it. Well, I didn’t recognize it yet at first, until later in my first few months as an ‘employee’. There were times that the days seem to end so fast, the weeks seem short, and the weekends are not enough. Well, most of the time the weekends are not enough, really. Sometimes I wish we had a four-day work week, and a 3-day weekend. That would be enough right?

If you’re busy, most of the time you won’t notice what time it is anymore. You would just be surprised that it’s already lunch time, or it’s already 5 o’clock and you’re about to go home. Time is very precious, and yet, sometimes we don’t take advantage of it or use it the way we’d want to. Time is given away freely, and it’s better if we grab the opportunity to make good use of it.
We’ll say that we don’t have any choice especially if we’re at the office and we have to stay there the whole 8 hours a day. True enough, I feel the same way. I feel like I don’t hold my own time during those 8 hours a day. That I have to spend every second, every minute, every hour in the office, in front of my computer, doing the tasks that need to be done. And waiting for time to pass by, I think that is the most ironic activity that makes time fly by so fast, and yet, also make the seconds, the minutes, the hours seem to last longer.

Usually I can’t wait for the day to be over during weekdays. That I’ll be able to get out of the office and spend some stolen moments after work. That’s the time that I try to at least make the day longer, or at least, try to slow things down a bit and make the most out of the time that I have for my own. Either I spend it alone, or I spend it with friends, or just chill out at home. It’s also a bit of a break from a daily routine that I’m sort of doing, wake up-go to work-go home from work-sleep. That’s about it. And also one of the reasons why I always think of ways to go out with friends after work, even just for a simple dinner, or a simple chat, or even just for a walk before I go home. I find it very refreshing.

Right now, I wish things would slow down a bit. I wish during the long weekend for the holy week, time would at least slow down a bit. That I’ll be able to do a lot with the time I have. Days fly by so fast. Seems like 2010 just started, and yet it’s March, nearing April already. Seems like I only started working, and yet it’s already been a year since my college graduation, and now I’m nearing my first anniversary at work. Wow. I wish there was a ‘slow motion’ button somewhere and I could use it to just slow things down a bit. Hahaha.

I don’t feel bad; it’s just that I feel like time is wasted. Especially when I’m not doing anything productive at all? I could use it for some other things that are worth the time. And another thing that I think could make more productive use of time? Creating memories. I also wish to create more memories. I just wish I could have more time for myself, for other things, and not let the opportunities just pass. Sayang e. I guess I’m wanting to do a looot of things for myself.

February 12, 2010

There are some things in life that you don’t get that easily. Not everyone’s lucky. But you can be, and you will be, in time. It may also depend on what it is that you’re looking for. You might have already found it but you let it slip away, or you didn’t notice it. How would you know? I guess you’ll just know it when it comes.

What would you do if finally, something you’ve been long waiting for has finally arrived? When something that you’ve always wanted and wished for has already come true? How would you feel? How would you react?

Excitement is the first thing that comes into mind. You can’t escape the fact that once it happens, you’ll feel those butterflies in your stomach and you just can’t hide the smiles. You’re always feeling happy, light, like there’s not a single problem in this world that you have to worry about. It’s something that will never leave your thoughts for a long time, and still give you smiles once you remember. It’s just pure bliss at that moment.

I’ve wished for a lot to happen in my life, I’ve asked for some things that I didn’t know when I would ever have. But then everyone gets their chance, and I got mine as well. It was something I’ve long waited for, something that’s not new to many of us, but not everyone has. It was something I’ve learned to understand and wanted to have since I first felt that hard beating in my chest like my heart wants to come out of it. I envied those who had it; I felt jealous of those who owned them; I wondered when I will finally be the one in their shoes. And when I already had it, I didn’t want to let it go. It was new to me, a different experience in a very good way. I was happy and content. I wanted it to last, for as long as it could. I wanted it to stay. I was in such delight. But as they say, nothing is permanent in this world, except for change.

That time would also come, that you’ll have to learn to let go of the things you treasure the most. Sometimes you don’t know why, or how, if it was your fault or not, but it happens. It will hurt, and you have to go through it. You have to face it, and you have to survive it. If you still have it at the end, that’s your bonus. But if you don’t, you’ll have to get used to it. You can hope and pray that it comes back; of course it’s not easy to give up. But if it still doesn’t work out, you’ll have to learn when you should already let go and move on. Just thinking about it is already hard, but it is part of growing up and it’s not an easy process. Everyone experiences it, in different forms, in different situations, but still all the same. It is part of becoming who you are, and being strong despite the “barriers” of happiness in your life.

February 10, 2010


I’ve read a blog post yesterday about how sometimes you feel bad for someone who’s having problems, and all you’d want to do is help that person but you just can’t. It’s either they don’t want any help at all, or you just can’t help them because you don’t know how. I’ve related myself so much to this post because right now, I’m feeling the exact same thing.

There are times when people want you to mind your own business, or just don’t think about them and just leave them alone. Especially when they’ve got big problems on their shoulders, and they think that they can handle it themselves, and they want to actually handle it themselves because they don’t want to bother other people with their own problems. How big the problem may be, or how bad they might be feeling, they don’t want you feeling bad for them too. It’s like they’re shutting you out because they don’t want to give you something to think about or worry about. Well that sucks, at least for me.

For anyone who’s got friends or loved ones who have problems, the first thing that comes to our minds is how can I help them, or what can I do to help them? How can I at least make them feel better? How can I at least lessen the burdens that they’re carrying, and make them feel that they’re not alone? That there’s someone who wants to help them, who wants to be there for them, and who’s willing to help them. How will I be able to do that from a distance? And how will you be able to help if they’re not even asking for any help?

I know it sounds kind of “makulit” or “usisera” or “mapilit” but I think nobody should handle their problems alone. Or at least, let other people help you in other ways, if you don’t want them meddling with your own problems. Surely you’ve got to figure the solution yourself, but at least let them be there. You don’t have to shut them out, or shut yourself out from them just because you don’t want them feeling bad for you, or worrying about you. You don’t have to be alone because nobody wants to be alone. That’s why you have your friends and family. Talk to them at least, tell them your problems. Don’t hesitate to ask for their help because they are more than willing to help. It’s their job to worry about you and feel bad when you feel bad. It’s their job to make you feel better when you’re feeling down. It’s their job to be there for you at all times, or at least try to be. And at least, let them do their job because they want to do it. Just at least let them be there for you, and remember that they're around you. It might make you feel a whole lot better.

*Look for the missing text :)*

My first post for 2010; and tt's now the 14th day of the year 2010!
How's the new year been treating you so far?
I'm sure everyone's looking forward to what this year has in store for them.
For me, it's still a bit the same, but a bit different as well.
Just like after the holidays, for the previous years, after the holidays we go back to school. But for this year, I go back to work. Big difference right?
Oh well, I hope we all started our year right, and that all of us did enjoy the holidays. Me, my mom and my kuya went to church last January 1st, then we spent the whole day with other members of the family, on my mom's side. We had our family reunion which we always have during the new year. (I think that's why our family is still as strong as ever. :))

Now that it's the year 2010 already, I haven't gone back and looked at how the year 2009 has treated me. I haven't recalled the events that has happened in the year 2009 that has either made me very happy, very sad, excited, angry, or whatever. And now I'm gonna do it, just like what I've always done. It's like a summary report of my year or something. Anyway, here it goes...

JANUARY
What I remember is that I was really looking forward to the year 2009. First and foremost because of all the things in store for me that year. It was the first new year that I celebrated that I have a boyfriend, and I was really excited about that, because we were starting a new year together, and I know a lot of things would happen. Then, we have our graduation, it was pretty exciting but at the same time, it was a bit sad as well. But then there's also the excitement of what is out there once we have graduated. So this time, we were busy with school work, org work, and a lot of other 'work', haha.
New babies! -We had two new babies this year, Elyza and Cody. :)

FEBRUARY
Thesis Defense. -Passed! Though one prof gave us a hard time...pft! Well thanks to our thesis adviser Ma'am Cha, and to our outside support, and of course to my thesismates, Hanami and Joyce. =D
Valentine's Day. -I received my first ever bouquet of flowers, of course from my one and only, :)
ORG work. -We always had ORG work, I think...=D Especially this time, for the Eng'g. Week.
My first kiss. :) ♥
A lot of other school stuff. -SRM project, that we weren't able to submit on time.
(can't remember the other school stuff really, haha)

MARCH
Meet the Parents. -This was a program for the parents of the graduating students, I think this is only in Engineering. There was a parent speaker, a student speaker, and an AVP from each class from a certain course.
Baccalaureate Mass. -So much fun! Mass for the graduating students from the University of Santo Tomas, the walk/parade thru the Arc of the Centuries, party time, and of course, fireworks!
GRADUATION. -March 28, 2009 at the PICC. This was it, what we worked hard for, for 4 years. Although we already did other graduation stuff, the mass, the meet, the reservation and fitting of the toga, the orientation, I really didn't feel the graduation itself yet, not until I was there at the venue, wearing my toga, waiting for my name to be called, and waiting to go up the stage. Kuya also had his graduation, March 26, 2009. :)
Graduation Party. -The time I introduced Ifor to my dad. Not as my boyfriend yet, hahaha. I only told my dad when I got home after the party, and I got a looooot of advices. Then I told my mom the next day, and got another set of advices as well, haha. :)
Unfortunately, one of may dad's brothers died during this month.

APRIL
Nothing much for April, except maybe for the fact that I signed my contract for work during this month. And now I remember, it was during this month that Ifor was able to go to our place while my dad is there. I think it went well. :)
I've been missing school already this time, because I know I won't be going back anymore, with my classmates, school activities and stuff. And we weren't doing the clearance, the pre-sectioning, and the enrollment stuff anymore.

MAY
WORK. -May 4 was my official start date for work. It was supposed to be in April, but I asked if I could just start in May because my dad was still here that time.(April) Hmmm...I was kind of excited, but at the same time nervous. But I was lucky, as well as some of my other classmates, because we were able to find work immediately right after graduating.
Outings. -We had an outing, me and my cousins, during this month. We went to EK and then went to this place for swimming. :) We also had the company outing, during the last weekend of May I think.
New friends. -I've made some new friends! :) Some of the newbies I was with during the start of my training at work. =P
First salary. -I received my first salary of course on the 15th, and of course I treated Ifor, and my mom and kuya I think. Haha.
Half a year. -This was also our 6th month, me and Ifor, and still counting.:)

JUNE
My Birthday! -For the first time, I was the one who had to handle the expenses for my birthday celebration. :) Then I also received a cake from the office, which they always do for the birthday celebrants. I was also able to celebrate my birthday with Ifor. :)
PCD Concert. -The Pussycat Dolls concert! What a way to celebrate our monthsary. June 11, 2009 at the MOA concert grounds. I think this was also both our first concert to attend, and what better way to do it than with each other. :)

JULY
I think there was nothing much for July...or I just really can't remember, hahaha.
Oh, I remember now, this was our 7th month together and I bought the Sudoku board game Ifor had always wanted. :)

AUGUST
Ifor's birthday.:) - I had a really hard time thinking of what to give Ifor for his birthday. So I ended up with two cards, a shirt, and a Paulo coelho book. :) Unfortunately I wasn't able to go to his birthday celebration, because I wasn't allowed to, and because of an unexpected event.
Another unfortunate event, my lola, my last grandparent, passed away this month, really surprising us all.

SEPTEMBER
10th month - We're in double digits! Haha.
Other than that, I can't think of any exciting happenings during this month.

OCTOBER
11th month - We're nearing the 12th month! :)
As well as for this month. Except that during mom's birthday celebration, Ifor was there, because my mom had her birthday celebration during our monthsary. =P

NOVEMBER
11.11.09 - The much awaited date; Our anniversary. Played bowling for the first time together. :) ♥♥♥
Regular - This was also my 6th month in the office, which makes me a regular employee already.

DECEMBER
Yoshi's 1st year - Yoshi is 1 year old as well. :)
Reunions/Trips - Some of our relatives from the States came home for the holidays. Including my cousin, who was a surprise, which we haven't seen for almost 7 years I think. That's why we had a lot of reunions or celebrations and stuff. I also had my first trip at La Mesa Eco Park.
Our first EK trip; me and Ifor. Together with Ate Libay and Bryan.
For the first time, was able to buy gifts from my own money. :) - Once again, had a hard time thinking of gifts for relatives, and for Ifor.
Paskuhan. - We were still able to attend Paskuhan; me, Ifor, and our other college classmates and friends. And this time, it was super bongga! There were a lot of celebrities, and the fireworks were amazing. It was also a kick-off for the countdown of the quadricentennial celebration of UST. Thomasians, we should all watch out for that. :)

Have you noticed something about that summary or whatever?
He's always included in every month, right? Haha.
Well, that's good isn't it, knowing that although we're not able to see each other very often, still he's made his presence felt throughout last year. And besides, he was the latest addition in my life, and he made it more exciting. Or at least I was pretty excited about us, :)
Hopefully it's still gonna be the same for this year, but of course, with a bit of difference. Hopefully we get to see each other more often this year, than that of the last year.

Sadly I lost two relatives, but on the other hand, we also gained two!
Elyza, my niece, and Cody, my second cousin. :)

And of course, I know that there are a lot of other things that I wasn't able to mention here in my blog, but that doesn't mean that they're not of importance. Thanks to everyone who's been a part of my 2009. Hopefully I'll still see you in my 2010. :)