think rainbows

When I resigned from work, we decided to visit Mindoro and our relatives there once again after almost 5 years of not being able to. It was in exchange of not going to Panagbenga this year which we have been doing since 2010, and since it would also coincide with the town fiesta. Unfortunately Kuya couldn't come because of work, so it was just me and my mom. It was a fun trip, but it wasn't how I expected it would be. I didn't even get the chance to swim although we went to different beaches. All in all I was happy that we were able to push through with the trip, but I wasn't satisfied.

I wanted to go back as soon as possible, and while summer isn't over yet. I wanted a different experience, and since we don't know when we'll be able to visit again after this trip, I really wanted to do it. After much thought and much debating, luckily we were able to go again, but still without Kuya. I was determined to make it a different experience this time, and I think I achieved it. From the moment we got there, it was all family, and just pure vacation. I was at the beach almost everyday. Although there were times that I missed some things(from past visits there) and wanted more, I settled myself with what was there and I was okay. It was fun, definitely much better than the first one.

It wasn't just fun which I got from our stay in Mindoro this time. Aside from that, being the observer and over-thinker that I am, and through conversations with some relatives, I had a lot of thoughts and realizations. It was also something that I really wanted to do while I was away from Manila. Not just about what I am going through right now but life in general as well. I really didn't get the chance to have a one on one with nature because I feel like they didn't want me going by myself anywhere. But I still got my fair share of muni muni since I had a lot of free time while everyone else were either doing something or asleep.

...is Phillip Phillips!

Well, I am disappointed that Jessica didn't win but I am not that surprised that Phillip won. I mean c'mon, Kris Allen won over Adam Lambert, Lee Dewyze won over Crystal Bowersox...so what's new? I mean not that I'm saying that they're not good and they don't deserve to win, but their runner-ups are just better. Just like what I've read from some articles over the net, American Idol has become more of a popularity contest, and white guys with guitars are very appealing to teens which is probably the majority of the American Idol audience.

I thought the whole grand finale show was good. My favorite performances though has to be J.Lo's performance, Aerosmith's performance, and of course Jessica and Jennifer Holliday's duet. J.Lo was so hot and sexy while Steven Tyler totally rocked out; Jessica and Jennifer brought the house down. I think people even forgot about the Fantasia-Mantasia performance. Jessica is just so awesome, and I really do hope they make her awesome records that would really show how great she is. Can't wait for her singles!

Congratulations to Phillip Phillips for being Season 11's American Idol. I like him ever since his auditions and now he's won, so that makes it a little less heartbreaking that Jessica didn't win. =))

'Til the next season!

P.S.
I really wanna watch that J.Lo concert in November. And if ever they do get Jessica Sanchez as her front act, the more that I'd really want to watch!!

This isn't really the next blog that I was supposed to post but I can't help not to voice out my opinion on this year's American Idol Finale especially now that a Fil-Am could be the next American Idol. As I've mentioned I would just like to share my opinion on the final two's last performances hours before we all know who's going to be crowned the next American Idol.

I was and I think most, if not everyone, was expecting that Jessica Sanchez and Phillip Phillips are both gonna go all out with their performances tonight. Did they? Or did they not? I think Jessica did. As for Phillip, I didn't feel that much vibe from him, or it could also be just because he is really a very laid back guy in the first place. By the way, this post may have bias written all over it, but really these are my honest opinions. And just so you know, I didn't even get to watch Jessica's audition, and I liked Phillip already during his auditions.

Anyway, going back...I loved Jessica's performance of Whitney Houston's "I Have Nothing", but I thought her rendition of "The Prayer" was really divine. That was my favorite of the night. Her might-be first single "Change Nothing" was okay for me too. It was indeed very pop and I could already hear it on the radio. I think it will really work because as what they've mentioned, whatever she sings, she makes something beautiful out of it. If she doesn't win just because the judges said that the song didn't work, a lot of people are wrong about not voting for her.

As for Phillip, again, disclaimer, I do like him, together with Colton Dixon which I miss so much on the show. Anyway...I really didn't get his performance of "Stand By Me". It was kind of weird for me; probably it was the arrangement, I just thought it didn't work. Phillip's rendition of Billy Joel's "Moving Out" was better than his first song of the night, but I thought that his performance of the song during the Billy Joel week on Idol was much better. As for his last song of the night "Home", honestly, I didn't think it deserved the standing ovation. (Sorry!) It was just, I don't know, plain? Yeah it had originality and all that, but still. Or maybe I just didn't get the vibe of the song. I thought it was too country. Is Phillip country? I thought he was going to do a song with a vibe which is something more like his Usher or "Beggin'" performance, but it wasn't. I just think something more would've been better.

I agree that Phillip is a true artist and that he's really good as well, and that he is cute and all that, but obviously, my American Idol is Jessica Sanchez. :) And yes, it's about time a girl wins again!

I'd have to say that yesterday was yet another one of the most laid back gimmicks I've went to. Yet it was super fun and I was genuinely happy at the end of the day. We watched a movie, watched a game, and ate Korean dishes (which was a first for me). Even if we went from Manila to San Juan to Makati, I didn't feel tired at all not until I woke up this morning.

This is one of the reasons why sometimes I like going out with lesser people involved. You don't need to ask a lot of other opinions, lesser confusion, and it's easier to go with the flow of things. Especially if the people you're with are the kind of people whom you could talk to about anything under the sun. I'm just really thankful that I had that opportunity yesterday although not everything went smoothly. I really didn't even care at all.

I look forward to the next gimmicks that we'll have. I hope there's more to come. Thanks to you for keeping me company. I hope you do realize how happy you make me feel, and this isn't even the first time. Don't change, araso? :)

I haven't really been able to blog yet about one of the biggest decisions I've made earlier this year. Maybe in my previous posts I've hinted about it, but this time, it has really happened. I've resigned from work. My last day was March 16. I've been thinking about doing it since last year, and so once I decided, there was no turning back. I have been with the company for almost three years, and I'm thankful in a way for the experiences and especially for the people I've met.

Why did I do it? Because I wanted change, as simple as that. I was starting to look for something different. I'm still trying to figure out what it is, but I still haven't found it. I am happy though that now I have the time to create a different chapter in my life story. I don't know where I'll be headed next, but I'm hoping for the better. I've learned a lot of things that I know I would be able to use in my succeeding endeavors.

I feel like there's always not enough vacation, and so we just have to be content with what we're given. It is a blessing to have the time to relax, to be away from stress, and just let things be. So as I figure out my next step, as I'm nearing the end of this temporary bum life, the feeling of wanting to go on but needing to stop arises. And so as not be saddened, I have to be content, accept the things that have to happen, and just enjoy everything that life has in store.

There is fear in me, because of not knowing where I should be going. That I might not be able to do what I want to do, or it's not something that I'd love. Right now I'm trying to conquer the fear and replace it with excitement; clear my mind so as to be able to see the horizon. I always think that things happen for a reason even though the reason may be unknown. I turn to Him for help because I know He knows what's best for me. In all the decisions that I make, I seek for His help and guidance. Because at the end of the day, it'll still be Him to whom I turn to.

I started this bum life with a vacation at our province in Mindoro, and now I am ending it there as well. All I wish is that we enjoy this trip once again. Even better than the first one. And that it would make me ready for whatever I'll be facing once we get back in Manila.

So here's my thoughts about today's performances...


Hollie Cavanagh 
Rolling in the Deep
One of her better performances, could even be the best for me.
Son of a Preacher Man
I think she found her confidence already. She seems different on stage and yeah this was kind of better than her first song.

Colton Dixon 
Bad Romance
Rockin' performance as always!
September
I get what the judges were saying that it wasn't as exciting as they would've expected of Colton but I liked his arrangement. And it always gets to me when he does that stare right at the camera. Swoon.

Elise Testone 
No One
Just an okay performance.
Let's Get It On
There was just a lot of things going on. Just another okay performance. I'm thinking she might be in the bottom again.

Phillip Phillips 
U Got It Bad
Goosies all over. Right on J.Lo, that was sexy!
In the Midnight Hour
Oh yes, Phil, more please? Another great performance!

Jessica Sanchez 
Fallin'
Awesome. What more to say? I just love hearing Jessica sing.
Try a little tenderness
Goosies for Ms.Sanchez this time! And it was a bit of Haley Reinhart I heard right there. C'mon Jessica, give them that moment again! (I'm a bit nervous for her though, I wish she doesn't end in the bottom again.)

Skylar Laine 
Born This Way
Really good arrangement, she did great for her first song!
Heart it Through the Grapevine
It was another good performance from Skylar but I didn't feel anything special with it.

Joshua Ledet 
I Believe
I got goosies! Usually doesn't happen with Joshua but he did really good with this song. Not much screaming and all that. I liked it.
A Change is Gonna Come
There he goes again. He's good, but I really don't like all the over the top screaming and everything.

Round 1 winner: Phillip/Jessica/Skylar/Joshua (can't choose!)
Round 2 winner: Phillip

Most Improved Award: Hollie
Underperformer Award: Elise
Most likely to be in the bottom Award: Elise
Achiever Award: Phillip
Biggest hair award: Jessica (lol, just had to add that)

Let's wait and see tomorrow who goes home!

I have been wanting to blog about American Idol's performance shows but it's only now that I'm actually going to be able to do it. These are just my opinions, simple opinions from an avid watcher of the show for I am no professional singer or whatever. So I'm going to be telling you about what I think of each singer in general, and then what I think of their recent performance.

I did not fully understand what the theme was but from what I heard from Ryan Seacrest, they chose songs from 2010 up to now. That's a loooooooooot of songs to choose from. They also got Akon as this week's mentor. Okay, on to the show.

There's been a couple of times already that I feel I get too easily attached to certain people. Certain people who might have shown "too much attention" to me. I start to always seek for their attention, for their companionship, for their conversations, and simply just to seek for them. Not that I always want to be the center of attention of everybody, but once in a while, you get to like the attention given to you, especially if it's particularly just for you, even if it's just for a while. This happens, and then expectations happen; you look forward to things. I know, expectations are pretty much a no-no, but I just can't avoid it sometimes. Don't worry, I won't get mad at you for thinking that I'm selfish, because I feel that I really am sometimes.

There are times I really try not to get too close or too comfortable, but I do want to spend time with them. So how do you do it? Because I don't know how to. It takes time before I start not to expect, but usually I get hurt or pissed first before I eventually learn. "Experience is the best teacher.", ain't it?

I get frustrated, because when it happens, I know that it's not the first time that it's happened, and I can't seem to get it out of my system. I get frustrated and sometimes think that am I being too good? Am I too easily fooled? (I certainly hope not!) Am I just really selfish? (partly yes?) I continuously try to come out of this and change this attitude because I know I will come upon these kinds of people more, and I can't let this happen over and over again. One day, it will come, I will just realize that "Hey, I've changed!", for the better. :)