think rainbows

There's been a couple of times already that I feel I get too easily attached to certain people. Certain people who might have shown "too much attention" to me. I start to always seek for their attention, for their companionship, for their conversations, and simply just to seek for them. Not that I always want to be the center of attention of everybody, but once in a while, you get to like the attention given to you, especially if it's particularly just for you, even if it's just for a while. This happens, and then expectations happen; you look forward to things. I know, expectations are pretty much a no-no, but I just can't avoid it sometimes. Don't worry, I won't get mad at you for thinking that I'm selfish, because I feel that I really am sometimes.

There are times I really try not to get too close or too comfortable, but I do want to spend time with them. So how do you do it? Because I don't know how to. It takes time before I start not to expect, but usually I get hurt or pissed first before I eventually learn. "Experience is the best teacher.", ain't it?

I get frustrated, because when it happens, I know that it's not the first time that it's happened, and I can't seem to get it out of my system. I get frustrated and sometimes think that am I being too good? Am I too easily fooled? (I certainly hope not!) Am I just really selfish? (partly yes?) I continuously try to come out of this and change this attitude because I know I will come upon these kinds of people more, and I can't let this happen over and over again. One day, it will come, I will just realize that "Hey, I've changed!", for the better. :)