think rainbows

For days now, I’ve been having a lot of these random thoughts. About things I want to do with my life, in the present, and in the future. Sometimes it’s good, sometimes it’s frustrating, even useless at times. I have them all in my head, but I don’t know how to put them into action.

I kind of don’t like the fact that I don’t know how to put them into action, or when I can actually put them into action, but I am happy that at least I have these thoughts which I could use as my goals. I want to do them, I want to try them all, but I can’t. I can’t because I am stuck to where I am right now. I know it’s wrong that I am ranting about what I am doing while others are getting their asses whooped just finding a decent job to be able to help their families.

I am thankful and do consider myself as one of the lucky few who were able to land a job in only a couple of months after we graduated. But I just can’t help not feeling good about what I am doing at times. Yes, I may have been lucky, but I’m not that happy. As it goes on, the more that I realize that I am not for this kind of job, or for this particular field in IT. I’m not saying that I don’t want to be an IT person anymore. I still do. Just not this kind.

I don’t know if it’s just really me, or it’s in the actual job that I’m doing, or it’s in what was assigned to me, or whatever it could be. I don’t know if I’m becoming choosy or whatever. But what I know is I want something that would interest me; something where I could find happiness when I do it and I don’t have to push myself to do it. I have a whole lot of time to think about it and find it, I’m just having a head start, for more options, more opportunities! Though sometimes it’s also good to just go with the flow, but a little directing here and there won’t hurt either, right? Hopefully, I’ll be able to find and do something just like that someday.

Another thing is, I want to go out, I want to mingle, I want to socialize more, I want some new found friends. I feel like I just want to be out there. I want to be more dynamic. I feel like I’m losing it. I want to have fun! I just don’t know how to do it or where to start. But I kind of feel light throughout this day actually, except when I was on my way home. But still, kind of weird actually, I don’t really know what I was feeling or anything. Probably right now, I am “in search” for something I don’t know what, I can’t determine which, and I can’t say where. Let’s see where this would lead me, and for how long. Kind of just in time for the change of year!

This morning when I woke up, there was fog outside (or I think it was, if it wasn’t). With only 40-plus more days before Christmas, it’s starting to feel more like the holiday season. Mornings are definitely getting colder, and it’s harder to get up from bed. Yikes.

The other day, I was telling a high school friend about some lessons I’ve learned in the past days, weeks, months; and she told me that in the coming days, there’s going to be more. Well, she was right, there is indeed more to learn, and the time that we say we might have stopped learning may well be the time that we have stopped living.

Last night probably (and I hope) was the worst that I have to go thru to travel from my workplace going home. Usually it takes me about an hour and thirty minutes max on my way home, riding 1 jeepney, 1 multicab, and finally a van. While last night, it took me three hours including 1 tricycle ride, 1 jeepney ride, 2 fx rides, around 30 minutes in the long line, and finally a van just to get home. There was traffic everywhere! Probably because of the sudden rain fall in the afternoon, adding to the rush hour of people going home from work. It was just crazy.

Luckily I decided to eat while I was lined up waiting for the van since I was already hungry anyway. If I didn’t, and I didn’t have any food with me, that would be torture. But at least I’ve proven something last night!

I am surprised I am blogging this early. According to the system time, it's 8:30 in the morning, I just arrived here in the office, my seatmates are not yet here, and what to do first? Blog!

Anyway, yesterday morning, my twitter page was flooded with this link since I was following @Magic899 on twitter as well as a number of their DJs, and almost all of them were sharing it. Boom, Aaron, Mo, and the boys from The Boys’ Night Out are included on the top 10 cutest male DJs list. (That explains the tweets. Click on the link to find out their rankings!) And because of this link from spot.ph, I found out that:

1. Papa Jack doesn’t actually look that bad. Though I don’t really listen to him.
2. Rico Robles is a DJ. Sorry I didn’t know that.
3. Aaron Atayde and Jessica Mendoza are actually together. Is this really true?
4. There are actually a lot of hot and cute DJs out there - Migz Anzures, Vince Golangco, Scotty Crawford, Gino Quillamor. But I’d still go for Boom Gonzales any time of the day!
5. Scotty Crawford has a very cute and sexy accent. Seriously! I actually dig guys with cute English/British accents (James Reid, Daniel Radcliffe, Hugh Grant) and the like, and now Scottish. Just this morning I started listening to their show The Hilary and Scotty show on Jam 88.3, and I think they’re pretty good. I already love Scotty and his accent; I could listen to him all day. (And he seems very witty too.)

Scotty and his sexy Scottish accent has got me blogging this early. See how much I like him already. Before I thought I couldn’t listen to a radio show this early in the morning because I was too sleepy and all. But now I think I’ve just found the perfect wake up call.

Boom and Mia’s still my number 1 though, Scotty and Hilary have to settle for second. :D I also have to find a better reception for Jam 88.3 here in the office. 

I received this e-mail earlier today from a cousin, and I want to share it with you guys. The e-mail was actually a chain letter, but even if this isn't a chain letter, I'd still send it out to people. Some of the advices here are really good, and I can relate to them. I'm sure you could relate to some of it too. And I also think that some of the advices here are very true. Simple, yet very inspiring. Read on! :)

Finally, after a week, here it is! This was how I spent the previous long weekend. :)

October 30: First up was a movie date with my bets Tin. Watched The Social Network at Greenbelt after pigging out with nachos, fries, smoothies, from Fuzion. Mark Zuckerberg is one hell of a weirdly genius billionaire.

*About the Title: I actually can't think of a decent title. Haha.*

"I just can't stop loving you...I just can't stop loving you...I just can't stop..."
Oh wait, but I can, can't I? It's just a matter of choice. Yes, I can, and I shall. I was able to do it with the others anyway.

I've thought of this song while I was having random thoughts the other day. If I was to be asked for a theme song that I would give him, this is the song that I would choose. I've been thinking too much about him lately, no not the ex, but someone else in the past. It's sort of wrong because he's happy right now with someone else and here I am still hoping that someday he would be free again. That is so not right.

I shouldn't be thinking this way, but the mere fact that I found out that it was possible, and then at the last minute it was all too late, that's what's been bothering me. And I haven't totally moved on from that. Especially since he hasn't really changed the way he's been treating me. I like it that way though, I just have to look at it in a different way I guess.

So here I am singing a different tune. "It must have been love, but it's over now. It must have been good, but I've lost it somehow." And it's not just for him this time. I will try and find a way to detach myself from the things that have been bothering me which really shouldn't. So I just have to look at things in a different way. Get it?

One more thing. I saw this bottle of C2 at the supermarket yesterday, and look at how small it is!


I just found it amusing so I had to buy it. It's probably 2/3 of a small Fit 'n Right bottle. Perfect for light drinkers who can't finish even the smallest regular C2 bottle.

Bear with me, I don't even know why I am blogging about this.

I'm supposed to blog about our experiences at the cemetery during our visit to our departed loved ones, but instead, this is what I have done.

Yeah, go on, just read. It's okay to laugh, to think that it's cheesy, corny, because I think it is. Hahaha!