think rainbows

*The title actually came from a priest’s homily during the Feast of the Holy Family. :)*

How’s the holidays been treating you guys??

It has been a blast for me! Just spent most of the time with family, and of course, eat, eat, and eat!

Holidays have always been family time for us; and for most of us in that case. Friends also come into picture, be they from college, high school, or even elementary. The holidays always bring people together to share laughter and good ‘ol company with each other.

Let me share with you how I spent the first part of the holidays.

Christmas season is always the busiest. There are parties everywhere, get-togethers, shopping, and just spending quality time with family and friends. I've had my share of holiday-related busy schedule. Since last week, we've been preparing for our company Christmas party. Our batch of newbies last year are the coordinators of the party this year, so we had to prepare the program and all that. We had the Christmas party last Thursday, and it turned out pretty okay at least. We all enjoyed the games, had our exchange gifts, and some party party time at the end. We are on FL starting tomorrow, and I'm just hoping and praying that there won't be any major client calls that we have to deal with. One item on my Christmas wish list probably.

i don't have a more decent picture. :))

Then there was the UST Paskuhan last Friday. I've never missed a UST Paskuhan yet ever since my first year in college at UST. Though on our last year as students in UST, we missed the fireworks display because we had our Christmas party at a classmate's house, but we were still able to make it to some of the Paskuhan festivities. Supposedly, my classmates and I were to meet at the Paskuhan fetivities this year. But due to the huge crowd and the loss of signal inside the campus, it was too hard to meet up. I ended up spending Paskuhan with my officemate, and was lucky enough to find one of my classmates there. The fireworks display was amazing as usual, and the bands were awesome too. December Avenue, Franco, Up Dharma Down, and Pupil were there and also another band which I forgot the name. UST Paskuhan is always the best. And will always be part of my Holiday season. :)





And then yesterday, Saturday, we had our annual Christmas Party here at our zone in our subdivision. Since my mom is an officer, we helped in the preparations and all, and they chose me as the emcee too. Luckily it was more of a party for the kids, so it wasn't formal or anything. It was fun as well, too bad it started drizzling at the end part of the party, but at least we were able to give away all the prizes and do the exchange gifts.

Then I went to a friends' celebration because she passed her Engineering board exams! She's now officially a Chemical Engineer! It was super fun because I haven't seen my high school friends for such a long time already, and we had a sort of reunion yesterday. We took advantage of the gathering and we did our exchange gifts. It was such a fun night even though I ended up with allergies because of the Tequila we drank, hahaha!

ang allergies, bow

And now, we're waiting for the arrival of one of my Uncles from the States and his son. It's going to be one busy holiday season again for our family for sure! My problem is, I'm not even done with my Christmas shopping yet. Goodness, good luck to me, I hope to finish them all by Wednesday. I'm just really excited for our family gatherings too because they're always super fun. I'm excited to see everyone! Let's all have a superb holiday season! :)

It was a busy Thursday for me yesterday. I went on leave from work because I had to go to the doctor for my monthly check-up for my hyperthyroid. We went straight home after to continue with the Christmas decorations at home. It’s still not yet fully finished but we’re getting there. And since I wanted to get more things done, I decided to go to the venue for our company Christmas party, just to check it out and ask about some stuff.

Before I left home, I asked my friend (from AdU) if she wanted to watch the game 1 of the PCCL Finals, since Ateneo and Adamson are playing. Luckily she was available, the game was set at 4:00 p.m., and the venue was not that far (Ninoy Aquino Stadium), so we met up to watch the game. I was really excited because first, I know both of the teams, I am familiar with the players since they are UAAP teams, and the last time I watched a live (college) basketball game was September pa! So being able to watch live again in December is a real treat. And this is Ateneo and Adamson we are talking about, it’s just like the UAAP!

There weren’t a lot of people probably because it was on an ordinary day, and only Adamson had drummers, which at least made the game a bit livelier. (Richard Gordon and Justice Renato Corona were there, pretty cool seeing them during a live game, and outside of the UAAP. :P) It would’ve been better if Ateneo had drums too, and if they also had performers during halftime, though they had their trumpeters around the third quarter at least. Kudos to those guys and the vuvuzela-playing crowd who wore #12 jerseys from Ateneo who still cheered their lungs out even though they were obviously overpowered whenever the AdU pep squad started banging those drums.

First quarter already started when we arrived at the venue, luckily we were able to get good seats. It was a one-sided affair as the Ateneo Blue Eagles had an early run to end the first quarter at 21-9. The Soaring Falcons woke up during the second quarter and tied the game at 37-all at the end of the first half. The Eagles weren’t going to give it away that easily as they registered an 11-point lead at the end of the third quarter looking to get away with the win, 66-55. The fourth quarter was then to become a seesaw of lead changes as the Falcons and the Eagles answered shot after shot, trying to edge out one another to grab the 1-0 lead for this best of three finals.

December 1, 2010

24 days to go before Christmas.

Last 31 days of 2010.

Are you excited or excited?!

Haha! Well, I can definitely feel the holiday season coming. With all the Christmas decorations, Christmas party preparations here and there, and the cool breeze of the wind, yep, it’s starting to feel more and more Christmas-y all right. (Though we don’t have our decorations at home yet, and our 13th month from the office, damn.)

I’m excited to go Christmas shopping; though I can’t yet because I’m still waiting up on my budget, and I really don’t have any ideas on what to give my family and friends. Probably I only have about two to three gift ideas for three to five people and majority are for the kids. But I’m sure I’ll be able to find something for each and everyone on my list just in time for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. At least I have a list! Though it’s not fully finished too, haha! (And by the way, I'm kind of enjoying organizing parties and stuff, if you need help, you know where to find me. I'm everywhere! :)) (plurk, twitter, fb) Though the one I'm working on is pretty challenging, haha!)

Another thing I’m excited about is family reunions and get together with friends. December has just started and I’m already receiving invites here and there to parties and get togethers! My weekends are already getting busy. But it’s always been that way during December, and I like it. :D I just hope I’ll be able to see everyone I’ve been missing before the year ends. Some relatives from the States might come home for the holidays too, and that has always been a highlight for us. It means more family gatherings, more food trips, and more fun times. :)

It’s always been a light and festive mood during holiday season. So I kind of relate how I have been feeling for the past few days to that. I am surprised in a way because even though there are upsets throughout the day, I still end up in a pretty good mood. Perhaps I could also relate it to the fact that there are certain people in this world who could brighten your day in one way or another without them actually doing anything. :) Sometimes you just have to realize that there is so much more to be thankful for than to just be pissed throughout the day. Yes, those disappointments won’t go away, but you could also ignore them and forget them. Don’t make them stay; they’ll be gone too anyway. Of course there are people who would help you appreciate what you have/had, but it still starts with your own self, almost always does. :)

P.S.
And I think it is indeed possible to love someone even though you know you could never have them. Sometimes, knowing that they’re still there for you, and you both still have the good memories with you, is enough. I commend people who’ve got a lot of love to share in their hearts. Give love on Christmas Day! Haha. :P

For days now, I’ve been having a lot of these random thoughts. About things I want to do with my life, in the present, and in the future. Sometimes it’s good, sometimes it’s frustrating, even useless at times. I have them all in my head, but I don’t know how to put them into action.

I kind of don’t like the fact that I don’t know how to put them into action, or when I can actually put them into action, but I am happy that at least I have these thoughts which I could use as my goals. I want to do them, I want to try them all, but I can’t. I can’t because I am stuck to where I am right now. I know it’s wrong that I am ranting about what I am doing while others are getting their asses whooped just finding a decent job to be able to help their families.

I am thankful and do consider myself as one of the lucky few who were able to land a job in only a couple of months after we graduated. But I just can’t help not feeling good about what I am doing at times. Yes, I may have been lucky, but I’m not that happy. As it goes on, the more that I realize that I am not for this kind of job, or for this particular field in IT. I’m not saying that I don’t want to be an IT person anymore. I still do. Just not this kind.

I don’t know if it’s just really me, or it’s in the actual job that I’m doing, or it’s in what was assigned to me, or whatever it could be. I don’t know if I’m becoming choosy or whatever. But what I know is I want something that would interest me; something where I could find happiness when I do it and I don’t have to push myself to do it. I have a whole lot of time to think about it and find it, I’m just having a head start, for more options, more opportunities! Though sometimes it’s also good to just go with the flow, but a little directing here and there won’t hurt either, right? Hopefully, I’ll be able to find and do something just like that someday.

Another thing is, I want to go out, I want to mingle, I want to socialize more, I want some new found friends. I feel like I just want to be out there. I want to be more dynamic. I feel like I’m losing it. I want to have fun! I just don’t know how to do it or where to start. But I kind of feel light throughout this day actually, except when I was on my way home. But still, kind of weird actually, I don’t really know what I was feeling or anything. Probably right now, I am “in search” for something I don’t know what, I can’t determine which, and I can’t say where. Let’s see where this would lead me, and for how long. Kind of just in time for the change of year!

This morning when I woke up, there was fog outside (or I think it was, if it wasn’t). With only 40-plus more days before Christmas, it’s starting to feel more like the holiday season. Mornings are definitely getting colder, and it’s harder to get up from bed. Yikes.

The other day, I was telling a high school friend about some lessons I’ve learned in the past days, weeks, months; and she told me that in the coming days, there’s going to be more. Well, she was right, there is indeed more to learn, and the time that we say we might have stopped learning may well be the time that we have stopped living.

Last night probably (and I hope) was the worst that I have to go thru to travel from my workplace going home. Usually it takes me about an hour and thirty minutes max on my way home, riding 1 jeepney, 1 multicab, and finally a van. While last night, it took me three hours including 1 tricycle ride, 1 jeepney ride, 2 fx rides, around 30 minutes in the long line, and finally a van just to get home. There was traffic everywhere! Probably because of the sudden rain fall in the afternoon, adding to the rush hour of people going home from work. It was just crazy.

Luckily I decided to eat while I was lined up waiting for the van since I was already hungry anyway. If I didn’t, and I didn’t have any food with me, that would be torture. But at least I’ve proven something last night!

I am surprised I am blogging this early. According to the system time, it's 8:30 in the morning, I just arrived here in the office, my seatmates are not yet here, and what to do first? Blog!

Anyway, yesterday morning, my twitter page was flooded with this link since I was following @Magic899 on twitter as well as a number of their DJs, and almost all of them were sharing it. Boom, Aaron, Mo, and the boys from The Boys’ Night Out are included on the top 10 cutest male DJs list. (That explains the tweets. Click on the link to find out their rankings!) And because of this link from spot.ph, I found out that:

1. Papa Jack doesn’t actually look that bad. Though I don’t really listen to him.
2. Rico Robles is a DJ. Sorry I didn’t know that.
3. Aaron Atayde and Jessica Mendoza are actually together. Is this really true?
4. There are actually a lot of hot and cute DJs out there - Migz Anzures, Vince Golangco, Scotty Crawford, Gino Quillamor. But I’d still go for Boom Gonzales any time of the day!
5. Scotty Crawford has a very cute and sexy accent. Seriously! I actually dig guys with cute English/British accents (James Reid, Daniel Radcliffe, Hugh Grant) and the like, and now Scottish. Just this morning I started listening to their show The Hilary and Scotty show on Jam 88.3, and I think they’re pretty good. I already love Scotty and his accent; I could listen to him all day. (And he seems very witty too.)

Scotty and his sexy Scottish accent has got me blogging this early. See how much I like him already. Before I thought I couldn’t listen to a radio show this early in the morning because I was too sleepy and all. But now I think I’ve just found the perfect wake up call.

Boom and Mia’s still my number 1 though, Scotty and Hilary have to settle for second. :D I also have to find a better reception for Jam 88.3 here in the office. 

I received this e-mail earlier today from a cousin, and I want to share it with you guys. The e-mail was actually a chain letter, but even if this isn't a chain letter, I'd still send it out to people. Some of the advices here are really good, and I can relate to them. I'm sure you could relate to some of it too. And I also think that some of the advices here are very true. Simple, yet very inspiring. Read on! :)

Finally, after a week, here it is! This was how I spent the previous long weekend. :)

October 30: First up was a movie date with my bets Tin. Watched The Social Network at Greenbelt after pigging out with nachos, fries, smoothies, from Fuzion. Mark Zuckerberg is one hell of a weirdly genius billionaire.

*About the Title: I actually can't think of a decent title. Haha.*

"I just can't stop loving you...I just can't stop loving you...I just can't stop..."
Oh wait, but I can, can't I? It's just a matter of choice. Yes, I can, and I shall. I was able to do it with the others anyway.

I've thought of this song while I was having random thoughts the other day. If I was to be asked for a theme song that I would give him, this is the song that I would choose. I've been thinking too much about him lately, no not the ex, but someone else in the past. It's sort of wrong because he's happy right now with someone else and here I am still hoping that someday he would be free again. That is so not right.

I shouldn't be thinking this way, but the mere fact that I found out that it was possible, and then at the last minute it was all too late, that's what's been bothering me. And I haven't totally moved on from that. Especially since he hasn't really changed the way he's been treating me. I like it that way though, I just have to look at it in a different way I guess.

So here I am singing a different tune. "It must have been love, but it's over now. It must have been good, but I've lost it somehow." And it's not just for him this time. I will try and find a way to detach myself from the things that have been bothering me which really shouldn't. So I just have to look at things in a different way. Get it?

One more thing. I saw this bottle of C2 at the supermarket yesterday, and look at how small it is!


I just found it amusing so I had to buy it. It's probably 2/3 of a small Fit 'n Right bottle. Perfect for light drinkers who can't finish even the smallest regular C2 bottle.

Bear with me, I don't even know why I am blogging about this.

I'm supposed to blog about our experiences at the cemetery during our visit to our departed loved ones, but instead, this is what I have done.

Yeah, go on, just read. It's okay to laugh, to think that it's cheesy, corny, because I think it is. Hahaha!

It has been a while since me, my mom and my kuya ate out for lunch or dinner. So Friday night when I went home, I decided to invite them to a Saturday lunch out. Unfortunately, my mom didn't want the parlor to be unattended, so we decided to leave kuya behind. (We'll go Army Navy next time kuya. =P)

Tutti Frutti G4

Finally got to taste the yummy-ness of Tutti Frutti! We went to the Glorietta 4 branch of Tutti Frutti last Friday before heading to the movies in Greenbelt. Luckily they had a G4 branch! I was really excited to try it, and it did not disappoint me at all. I got the Chocolate Peanut Butter flavored yogurt because that was what they said was good.  I think Megamall has a bigger branch, and probably more flavors? And boy, it doesn't taste anything like yogurt! As if it's just simple ice cream!

WARNING: This post could give you hunger and/or cravings.

What I like about eating out is the feeling you get when you’re actually at the restaurant than when you just have the food delivered at your doorstep. Especially if it’s your first time there; you get the whole feel of it, the whole experience. Unfortunately my mom doesn’t share the same views as I have, so we don’t really get to eat out a lot.

Ironically though, I’ve slowly been becoming fond of eating out and trying new restaurants that according to my friends are okay, especially now that I can afford those scrumptious meals with my own money. I haven’t gone far out though yet; I haven’t treated myself to a Friday’s meal (with my own money), or to Fish & Co., Racks, Don Henrico’s, Italianni’s, and the like. (You know what I mean.) I’m starting with the more affordable ones first; Pancake House, Teriyaki Boy, Icebergs desserts, The Old Spaghetti House, Carlo’s Pizza, etc., which before I’ve only wished for of eating at during special occasions.

Above all these, there are those restaurants though that I’ve always wanted to try. Either I’ve always seen them, they look interesting, the food really looks yummy, or reviews from other people are really good. Let me enumerate (in no particular order) some of the places that I have been wanting to visit for some time now.

We, my mom, my brother and I, were talking over at lunch today about some of our unforgettable experiences over the previous years. I can’t really remember how it started, until my brother and I was left at the dining table and started talking about the time when my mom was hospitalized during 2003.

For the Tigers at least...

UST ended their UAAP Season 73 Men’s Basketball campaign placing 7th overall in the standings. Considering the team’s fourth place finish in Season 72 with a 6-8 record, and fifth place finish in Season 71 with the same win-loss record, this is a whole different story. But then, we also have to consider the fact that they had veterans Dylan Ababou and Khasim Mirza back then, who have now both graduated and have suited up for the Smart Gilas RP Team and the PBA, respectively.

So what was left of Coach Pido’s team? Third years and sophomores, a number of rookies plus new recruits, as well as relegates from team B. A young team indeed which made pre-season critics put them at the bottom of the food chain, predicting that they were to finish dead last in the tournament. There was no definite veteran left in the team as all eyes were set on Jeric Teng, UAAP Season 72 ROY, to help lead the Tigers together with third years Clark Bautista, Jeric Fortuna, Chris Camus, Melo Afuang, and fellow sophomore Aljon Mariano.

For the first time ever since he became head coach, Glenn Capacio was not with the Tamaraws during the whole second half on one of their most important games ever.
For the second time since 2008, the Blue Eagles swept their opponents in the best-of-three Finals series, Lasalle being the first victim in Season 71.
For the third time in a row, the Ateneo Blue Eagles together with the great coach Norman Black were hailed champions in the UAAP Men’s Basketball action.

In a game where everyone expected both teams to go all out, one overshadowed the other. Ateneo came out armed, prepared, and ready to defend the title. FEU might have either been caught off guard, or probably succumbed to the pressure they were not used to.

Ateneo was not going to let FEU beat them for three straight games. During the first and second round eliminations, FEU was able to beat Ateneo in two pulsating games which could have gone either way. This time, the Eagles made sure it would be theirs.

My blog was actually featured on Yahoo! College hoops! Yes, this actual blog! Don’t want to believe me? Click here then!

I’m just very happy that they took time to recognize my support for the UST Growling Tigers and my blog. Though still, my dreams, hopes of a lot of comments in my posts still weren’t achieved, at least my blog got some exposure. As well as the author, haha! My friends were very happy for me, as much as I was very surprised when I saw the article. Yahoo! College Hoops for the win!

Good morning! I just felt like blogging, so here goes whatever...

Nothing much to write about actually, I just really want to post something here, that's all. I'll probably blog about UST's UAAP Men's Basketball Season 73 campaign after their last game on Thursday against NU. I really, really, really, really do hope that they win that game. I also wish for Jeric Teng, Clark Bautista, Melo Afuang and Aljon Mariano to again play the way they did against Ateneo (Clark and Jeric), Lasalle (Melo), and UP (Jeric and Aljon). So that at least they'll end this season with a win, and improve their record to 5-9. And of course, as well as the other guys on the team. Chris Camus has been silent lately, I wonder what's wrong.

It was indeed an intense UAAP weekend once again. Who would’ve thought that at the end, the name of the game for the recently concluded first round of the UAAP Men’s Basketball would be comebacks? We’ve seen teams register a huge lead against their opponents, just to lose it in the final canto. We’ve seen teams struggling with their game, and yet they are still able to pull away with a win. Such unpredictability in the UAAP right now, no one knows who will win or what will happen next. You just have to wait and see for yourself during game days.

I suddenly realized I haven’t created my birthday blog yet!
*Birthday blog: A blog where one would share how they celebrated their birthday.

June 25, 2010

I woke up feeling normal, like any other ordinary day. But it immediately came to my mind that it’s my birthday! I had to wake up early because we attended the 6am mass, and then we went straight to McDonald’s, I treated my mom and dad to breakfast, and then they dropped me off at the office. Of course they were the first ones who greeted me on my very special day.
I needed to arrive at the office earlier than usual too, because I filed a half day leave, so I had to be able to make it to around 8am so that I could leave the office at 12noon. I arrived around 8:10 I think, and when I arrived at my table, there was this plushy or just his small stuffed toy of wall-e, and a note written ‘Happy Birthday’. I sort of guessed that it was Alvin’s handwriting, and I was right, ha-ha. That was the first surprise of my day, and there was also a small note from Nica, greeting me a happy birthday as well. Then my day went on normally, but with a lot of greetings here and there, text messages, tonic messages, gtalk messages, ym messages, personal messages, and even in tumblr, twitter, plurk, and facebook! Another surprise was Casey’s tumblr post, where she made a picture with Pooh and his friends on it, with a greeting for me. It was really cute! And there was also this video of Pooh, I think that was a talking or singing stuffed toy or something, she said she found it on youtube and decided to share it for me, because I really like Pooh. :)I didn’t have lunch with my officemates anymore, and I went straight home. When I arrived, my dad cooked spaghetti and my mom cooked fried chicken. Those two dishes would never be missed during my birthday, always. And my dad even bought this big rectangular cake with a Happy Birthday greeting for me, and even candles for me to blow! It was really cute, and sweet, and thoughtful. I actually told my dad I wanted a cake, but I was just expecting a chocolate cake or something, and not like this. So before we ate lunch, I made a wish and blew my cake.Then I just spent the afternoon at home, I even slept, and we had dinner at Max’s restaurant. I treated them of course, and we tried the unlimited chicken at Max’s. Then after, I told my mom and dad I wanted to go back to Sitcom, if one of my favorite performers is going to be there. When we checked, he wasn’t there, but I still decided to go and still celebrate my birthday there. And it was a very good decision, because we had so much fun! I think I just laughed all night long until I was in tears because of too much laughter. Those performers are really unbelievable, they’re very entertaining, and yet professional performers.

We had to go home early (yes, 1:30am was early) because we invited guests the next day for a simple party at home, for the celebration of my birthday, and for a sort of despedida for my dad who left last Sunday (June 27). I invited my closest high school friends, college friends, and officemates (sorry I couldn’t invite everyone, hindi ko pa carry, haha!). And of course we invited relatives, and even some of my mom’s friends whom I knew very well. It was supposed to be lunch but my guests started arriving around late afternoon, so it turned out to be merienda. But it was okay, because I was very thankful that they arrived. Even if not everyone whom I invited was able to come, especially with my high school friends, only one was able to come, I still had fun with them, and they came, that’s what’s important. :) Casey also gave me a gift, a Pooh pillow, and Rane gave me a cake from Red Ribbon, and Teng, Francis and Hanami gave me a slice of sans rival with matching candle-blowing. Thank you very much guys! :)

We finished a bit late at night already, and my college friends were the last to leave. Even though we were all tired, and sleepy, of course I still had to entertain them at least. Well I hope they had fun, because I did. :)

Once again, thank you to everyone who greeted me, remembered, and were generous enough to give gifts, and especially those who came last Saturday. This wasn’t the birthday that I was expecting, but it was definitely more fun! Sa uulitin! :D

Thinking about it, I think this quote is very fitting for me. You see, I tend to over-analyze things a bit at times. It’s sometimes beneficial, but it could also go a bit overboard. I think this time, my analytic capabilities proved something to me. It struck me at once when I got to read this quote. I got this from twitter, from TheDailyLove I think, and what really caught my eye is the line “because that’s the only way the universe could open it.”

When I was still in that relationship, the one which just recently ended, I felt like my whole world was too focused on what was going on between us; on what I wanted to do for him, for us, for what we had. Okay, so I’m just realizing this now that it’s all over. I know, too late eh? Nah, I don’t think so. Going back, I thought that what I was doing was beneficial for us, because I thought I was taking good care of our relationship. Well, I could’ve been right, but while I was doing something for what we had, I was neglecting more things with what I should have been doing for myself. Because I always wanted so much to spend time with him, thinking that we live too far away from each other, I was spending almost all of my free time either talking to him, or wanting to see him, or actually just being with him. Don’t blame me; it always made me feel happy whenever I was with him.
I still got to spend some time with my family and friends of course, but still, it was like I encased myself too much in ‘our world’. It even came to a point where I was becoming selfish of him. There was this time when we were in a mall, and one of my close friends was there too. Of course I wanted to see her, but I was with him, so I thought if she comes, she might disturb us or something, so I sort of made up things so that she won’t go to where we were anymore. I know, it was wrong, bitchy and all, but what’s done is done. This makes me think that it might be one of the reasons too why it ended. I’m not regretting that I did it, or that I was too absorbed by what we had, because if I didn’t do it, I might do it to the next one and never know that what I’m doing is wrong. At least I’m realizing it now, so I would know when I’m doing it again or not. (And I’m not saying that what he did is okay now, because it still is not.)

I actually did notice that this was happening, while we still had the relationship. I’ve tried to fix it, but I didn’t know how, or what to do. And then the next thing I knew it was already gone; there was nothing more that I could do. I did shut out myself from the world, which was totally not me. I was usually the one who was always present at gatherings, but that time, I started thinking twice whether I would attend or not. I usually just want to hang out at home, but that time, I would go anywhere just to spend time with him. I could have forgotten myself because I was doing things I never did before. I was learning, but at the same time I was also losing parts of me, which is wrong. I was supposed to be improving myself, not losing myself. Good thing it didn’t get any worse, because I couldn’t imagine what would’ve happened then.

I could say that I am now more open to what life gives me. I just go with the flow; I try not to outcast myself, even though at times it still creeps up a bit. I just have to be ready and stay optimistic with everything that comes my way. With the help of what I’ve experienced, with all the realizations I’ve been having, I am starting to become more mature in the process. I’m starting to learn life’s new teachings that I’ve only discovered now. As what they always say, everything starts with yourself. I love me, before I love you. :) (Sounds a bit conceited, but it's true most of the time, haha!) I could also say that I’ve started living once again, I’ve started knowing myself again, and I definitely intend to stay open, let my heart be open, for everyone, and for myself. :)

June 21, 2010

4 days to go!

And I’ll be turning 22, OMG! (I had to compute in my mind if it was really 22, haha!)
Time is sooooo fast. It’s already the 21st of June! BTW, someone I know is celebrating her birthday today, Kaye Cruz, happy birthday. :) I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this before but I feel like I know a lot of people who are celebrating/celebrated their birthday during this month of June; people from high school, college, office, relatives, friends, acquaintances, and it’s pretty exciting that’s why I always wait for June to arrive.

In accordance with June, I want to share with you the past weekend that I had, June 18-20. It was so, let’s just say, fully booked, ever since Friday night. To start things off, we went to Sitcom Live last Friday night, a comedy bar near our place. It was just me, my mom, my dad, and my kuya. It was like a family bonding for us. This wasn't our first time to a comedy bar since we’ve been to 22nd street as well before, another comedy bar which is also just near our place. (There are also other branches of 22nd street in Antipolo I think and in some other places, not sure of the others though.) If you just want to laugh and have fun, I recommend you go to comedy bars, just be prepared to laugh your heart out and be ‘game’ with whatever the stand-up comedians will say. Anyway, going back, there was this concert that night at Sitcom for Voyz Avenue, a new all-male group from Tv5. I really didn’t know them, but when I heard them sing, they were actually pretty good. And of course, they’re all good looking, no doubt about that. But there was somebody else who already caught my eye even if the Voyz Avenue consisted of five good looking guys who could sing and dance well. Before the actual show or concert started, the stand up comedians first introduced themselves and sang a couple of songs. Probably just for an opening act. There was this one stand-up comedian who didn’t look gay at all. As in! When he walked out of the stage, I’m pretty sure every single lady in that place that night noticed his good looks. But then he immediately said, “I’m gay.” It was so funny! But boy, was he really good looking! I couldn't keep my eyes off of him. We stayed there until around 2:30 am I think, and I’ve been telling my mom and brother that I’d really want a picture with him, my gay crush. So I really waited until after the show so that I'd see him again. I was just waiting for the right moment to ask him for a picture, and when we were about to leave, I just had to do it. I went up front near the stage, asked the waiter if he could call him. But then he saw me, and he went down the stage! And I told him if I could take my picture with him, he politely said sure, we took the picture, I thanked him, he thanked me, and I left with a silly grin on my face feeling so kilig the whole time. Ha-ha! How I wish he’s just confused, or pretending or whatever. How I wish he wasn't gay at all! Hahaha!

Then the next day, Saturday, my dad and I went to SM Center to buy some tools. Then in the afternoon, we went to MOA to have our Father’s Day celebration with my uncle (my dad’s brother) and his children, my cousins. We ate at Lamesa grill, then we played Bowling, and we watched Toy Story 3. It was just a very light bonding moment for all of us, no worries or anything at all. We just had fun, and it was really nice. I wish we could have done another one like that, but my dad’s schedule is just too busy already that we can’t fit in something like that anymore. But it’s okay, we had that day anyway, and the bonding night last Friday. Then Sunday, we went to Bulakan, Bulacan to attend a christening where my brother was one of the godfathers. We practically spent the whole day there, another bonding moment for our family, together with other family members there.
So basically, I had a ‘family weekend’ because I was able to spend the whole weekend with my family. It’s nice to do this from time to time because you get to bond with your whole family, you get to have fun together, and you get to share more time with each other. Perfect. I’m glad this happened. :)

Looking forward to next weekend!

Today's the 15th of June...meaning, only 10 days more and it's gonna be my birthday!

I wonder if this template is too dark for my blog?
I'm still in the process of finding the perfect template/layout for my blog, I just haven't found time to create my own personal layout yet. :|
And forgive the picture, haha.

Oh, and happy labor day!
:)

Ang Aking Buhay Simbahan

Noong nasa Grade 6 ako, na-introduce sa akin ang Luke 18, sa pamamagitan ni Teacher Lanie na noon ay teacher namin sa Sibika. Isang youth group sa St.Joseph Parish, Bamboo Organ na para sa mga kabataang tulad ko na nasa Grade 6, hanggang sa mga kabtaang nasa 3rd year high school. Sumali ako dahil karamihan sa aking mga kaklase at kaibigan ay sumali. At naisip ko, mukhang exciting siya, kaya naman masayang masaya ako nung pinayagan ako nila Mama. ‘Yun ata ang first time na sa ibang lugar ako natulog, at hindi sa bahay. Kahit na malapit lang siya sa bahay, o sa school lang din ginawa, iba pa rin ang feeling na ang mga kasama mo matulog ay mga kasama mo rin sa school araw-araw. Marami akong nakilalang mga bagong kaibigan doon. Sabi nga nila, ‘yung batch na yata namin ang may pinaka-maraming sumali. At siyempre proud kami at masaya kami dun. Mga noon ay nakikita ko lang sa corridor, naging kabatian ko na rin sila pagkatapos ng Luke 18 Weekend Experience. Nakilala ko rin dito sila Ate Tess, Kuya King, Kuya Joseph, Kuya Conrad, Ate Riann, Ate Dang, atbp. Ilan lamang sila sa aming mga naging facilitator noon, na talaga namang hindi ko makakalimutan. Natutuwa pa ako kapag nakikita ko sila noon sa school at nakakabatian, naalala nila ako! :)

Pagkatapos ng weekend experience ay ang mga lingo-linggong meeting naman. Mahirap magpaalam para sa mga meeting, pero sinusubukan ko pa rin na makapunta palagi. Lalo na noon na nagsisimula pa lang ako matutong mag-commute mag-isa. Hanggang sa nung nag-high school ako, ay hindi na ako masyado naging active. Sabi ko nun sa sarili ko, gusto ko maging katulad nila Ate Tess, gusto ko rin maging facilitator sa weekend experience. Kaya naman nung nawala ako sa parish, akala ko ay hindi na matutupad ‘yung pagiging faci ko. Hanggang sa dumating ang 3rd year high school, nagkaroon ng Luke 18 Weekend Experience part 2 nung panahon na ‘yun. Pagkakataon para muling bumalik sa parish. Nakasama ako, kahit wala na ang mga ka-close ko doon, kahit iba na ang mga kasama ko. At kahit ganun ay nag-enjoy pa rin ako, at masaya akong nakabalik ako.

Nag-4th year kami, dumating ang Antioch, pero hindi ako nakasali. Dumating din naman ang Jazz Up, kung saan ay nakilala ko si Kuya Danes. Tinuruan niya kami ng sayaw, pati ni Kuya Joseph, at talaga namang ang saya ng experience na yun. Iba yung feeling nung nagsayaw na kami. Bukod sa hilig ko talaga ang pagsasayaw, masaya lang talaga ‘yung experience na ‘yun. Tuwang tuwa ako, at siyempre ay may mga bagong kaibigan muli. Dito ko rin nabalitaan ang tungkol sa College Group (CG), at sabi ko talaga sa sarili ko na doon ako sasali, promise talaga, sasali ako doon.

Sa 7 to 7 recollection, na-introduce sa amin ang CG. Si Kuya Danes ang coordinator ng CG ng panahong ‘yun, at si Ate Luann. Agad agad, pagkatapos ng 7 to 7 recollection ay kumuha ako ng form para makasali sa CG.

Excited ako noon, dahil alam kong makakabalik ako sa parish. Panibagong grupo, panibagong mga kaibigan, panibagong experience. Kabado ako nung unang meeting ng CG. Siyempre hindi ko kilala ang mga nandun. At sa pagkakaalala ko ay wala akong mga kakilala pa dito, or kaklase man lang nung high school. (‘Yung iba kasi, nasa Antioch pa.) Pero nakakatuwa dahil katulad ng ibang grupo sa parish, mababait ang mga Ate at Kuya doon. Doon ay nakilala ko rin sila Ate Julie, Ate Karen, Ate Xy, Ate Baby, atbp. Enjoy ang unang meeting, at sabi ko sa sarili ko, magpapaka-active na ko. Maraming mga bagong kaibigan muli ang nakilala ko sa CG. Sila ang mga lalo pang nagpapasaya ng mga meeting sa CG. Masaya akong kasama sila, masaya akong nakilala ko sila.

Marami akong na-experience sa CG. Karamihan ata sa buhay simbahan ko e nasa CG ako nung nangyari ang mga iyon. Kahit na mahirap pa rin magpaalam para pumunta ng parish, na dilemma naman ata ng karamihan, sinusubukan ko pa rin na maka-attend ng mga activities sa parish, at ng mga meeting sa CG. Kahit na hindi ako nakaka-attend ng mga retreat at camping ng CG, okay lang. Dumating din ‘yung panahon na excited akong mag-Sunday dahil alam kong may CG meeting. (Pero minsan ay kabado rin dahil iniisip ko kung ano na naman kaya ang ipapagawa sa amin. Pero exciting din naman. =P) Kakaiba ang experience habang nasa CG ako. At nitong mga panahon na ‘to saka ko na-experience ang mga gusto kong ma-experience noon; nakapag-sayaw ako sa Easter Vigil Mass, nakasali sa 7 last words, at, nakapag-facilitate ako sa Luke 18. Sobrang saya ko nung nagawa ko ‘yung mga bagay na ‘yun. Kakaiba ang feeling, kaya talaga namang thankful ako at nakilala ko ang CG. Kung hindi dahil sa CG, hindi ko magagawa ang mga bagay na ‘yun.

Bukod sa lahat ng mga meeting, activities, bagong kaibigan, at experiences, siyempre ay hindi ko rin malilimutan na sa pamamagitan ng mga grupong ito ay mas naging malapit ako kay God. Ito naman ang puno’t dulo ng lahat ng mga ginagawa namin, kaya naman kakaiba talaga ang feeling. Nag-e-enjoy ka na, nakakapag-serve ka pa kay God at pati na rin sa ibang tao.

Bakit ko nag ba sinusulat ‘to ngayon? Siguro dahil lang sa namimiss ko na ang buhay simbahan na naranasan ko noon. Oo aaminin ko, naiinggit ako sa mga kaibigan kong hanggang ngayon ay nakakapag-serve pa rin sa parish, nasa CG pa rin, o di kaya’y may handle na sila na grupo. Nakakainggit man, nakakatuwa rin, dahil kung iisipin mo, minsan ay part lang din kami ng grupong Luke 18, Antioch, CG, at ngayon ay may sarili na silang grupo na nahahandle. Hindi ko rin natupad ‘yung sinabi ko na magpapaka-active na rin ako. Hindi ko napagpatuloy. Na ngayon ay naiisip ko, sana nagawa ko. Nagsimula sa isang araw na hindi naka-attend ng meeting, hindi naka-attend ng mga activity, hanggang sa nagtuloy-tuloy na. Pero hindi naman ako umayaw, at hinding hindi ko nalimutan ang CG, hanggang sa Luke 18 na pinagmulan ko. Pati ‘yung butterfly awards na pinakahihintay ko noon hindi ko napuntahan. (‘Yung award ko... :( hahaha...) Sayang lahat, ‘no? Pero alam ko naman na may mali rin ako. Nagkulang ako, nagkulang ako sa gawa, dahil hindi ko nagawa ‘yung mga salitang binitawan ko. Bakit nga ba hindi ko na magawa ‘yung mga bagay na nagawa ko noon. Lagi ako nagtatanong kung pwede pa ba bumalik, at sinasabi rin naman nila ay oo. Oo, gusto ko, pero ngayon, gusto ko, pag nagdesisyon ako, ‘yung mapaninindigan ko na. Namimiss ko lang siguro talaga. Basta isa lang ang alam ko, masaya doon. Salamat sa kanila. Salamat sa Kanya.

:)

*this post is long over due, i've been blogging but i'm not able to post them all here..this particular post is also included in the notes section of my facebook account :)*


Have you ever had that feeling that sometimes time seems to fly by so fast, and all you’d want is to just slow things down a bit?

I’ve been feeling that way since last week I think, and this is not the first time. When I started working that was the time that I felt this way, and I kind of didn’t like it. Well, I didn’t recognize it yet at first, until later in my first few months as an ‘employee’. There were times that the days seem to end so fast, the weeks seem short, and the weekends are not enough. Well, most of the time the weekends are not enough, really. Sometimes I wish we had a four-day work week, and a 3-day weekend. That would be enough right?

If you’re busy, most of the time you won’t notice what time it is anymore. You would just be surprised that it’s already lunch time, or it’s already 5 o’clock and you’re about to go home. Time is very precious, and yet, sometimes we don’t take advantage of it or use it the way we’d want to. Time is given away freely, and it’s better if we grab the opportunity to make good use of it.
We’ll say that we don’t have any choice especially if we’re at the office and we have to stay there the whole 8 hours a day. True enough, I feel the same way. I feel like I don’t hold my own time during those 8 hours a day. That I have to spend every second, every minute, every hour in the office, in front of my computer, doing the tasks that need to be done. And waiting for time to pass by, I think that is the most ironic activity that makes time fly by so fast, and yet, also make the seconds, the minutes, the hours seem to last longer.

Usually I can’t wait for the day to be over during weekdays. That I’ll be able to get out of the office and spend some stolen moments after work. That’s the time that I try to at least make the day longer, or at least, try to slow things down a bit and make the most out of the time that I have for my own. Either I spend it alone, or I spend it with friends, or just chill out at home. It’s also a bit of a break from a daily routine that I’m sort of doing, wake up-go to work-go home from work-sleep. That’s about it. And also one of the reasons why I always think of ways to go out with friends after work, even just for a simple dinner, or a simple chat, or even just for a walk before I go home. I find it very refreshing.

Right now, I wish things would slow down a bit. I wish during the long weekend for the holy week, time would at least slow down a bit. That I’ll be able to do a lot with the time I have. Days fly by so fast. Seems like 2010 just started, and yet it’s March, nearing April already. Seems like I only started working, and yet it’s already been a year since my college graduation, and now I’m nearing my first anniversary at work. Wow. I wish there was a ‘slow motion’ button somewhere and I could use it to just slow things down a bit. Hahaha.

I don’t feel bad; it’s just that I feel like time is wasted. Especially when I’m not doing anything productive at all? I could use it for some other things that are worth the time. And another thing that I think could make more productive use of time? Creating memories. I also wish to create more memories. I just wish I could have more time for myself, for other things, and not let the opportunities just pass. Sayang e. I guess I’m wanting to do a looot of things for myself.

February 12, 2010

There are some things in life that you don’t get that easily. Not everyone’s lucky. But you can be, and you will be, in time. It may also depend on what it is that you’re looking for. You might have already found it but you let it slip away, or you didn’t notice it. How would you know? I guess you’ll just know it when it comes.

What would you do if finally, something you’ve been long waiting for has finally arrived? When something that you’ve always wanted and wished for has already come true? How would you feel? How would you react?

Excitement is the first thing that comes into mind. You can’t escape the fact that once it happens, you’ll feel those butterflies in your stomach and you just can’t hide the smiles. You’re always feeling happy, light, like there’s not a single problem in this world that you have to worry about. It’s something that will never leave your thoughts for a long time, and still give you smiles once you remember. It’s just pure bliss at that moment.

I’ve wished for a lot to happen in my life, I’ve asked for some things that I didn’t know when I would ever have. But then everyone gets their chance, and I got mine as well. It was something I’ve long waited for, something that’s not new to many of us, but not everyone has. It was something I’ve learned to understand and wanted to have since I first felt that hard beating in my chest like my heart wants to come out of it. I envied those who had it; I felt jealous of those who owned them; I wondered when I will finally be the one in their shoes. And when I already had it, I didn’t want to let it go. It was new to me, a different experience in a very good way. I was happy and content. I wanted it to last, for as long as it could. I wanted it to stay. I was in such delight. But as they say, nothing is permanent in this world, except for change.

That time would also come, that you’ll have to learn to let go of the things you treasure the most. Sometimes you don’t know why, or how, if it was your fault or not, but it happens. It will hurt, and you have to go through it. You have to face it, and you have to survive it. If you still have it at the end, that’s your bonus. But if you don’t, you’ll have to get used to it. You can hope and pray that it comes back; of course it’s not easy to give up. But if it still doesn’t work out, you’ll have to learn when you should already let go and move on. Just thinking about it is already hard, but it is part of growing up and it’s not an easy process. Everyone experiences it, in different forms, in different situations, but still all the same. It is part of becoming who you are, and being strong despite the “barriers” of happiness in your life.