think rainbows

When I resigned from work, we decided to visit Mindoro and our relatives there once again after almost 5 years of not being able to. It was in exchange of not going to Panagbenga this year which we have been doing since 2010, and since it would also coincide with the town fiesta. Unfortunately Kuya couldn't come because of work, so it was just me and my mom. It was a fun trip, but it wasn't how I expected it would be. I didn't even get the chance to swim although we went to different beaches. All in all I was happy that we were able to push through with the trip, but I wasn't satisfied.

I wanted to go back as soon as possible, and while summer isn't over yet. I wanted a different experience, and since we don't know when we'll be able to visit again after this trip, I really wanted to do it. After much thought and much debating, luckily we were able to go again, but still without Kuya. I was determined to make it a different experience this time, and I think I achieved it. From the moment we got there, it was all family, and just pure vacation. I was at the beach almost everyday. Although there were times that I missed some things(from past visits there) and wanted more, I settled myself with what was there and I was okay. It was fun, definitely much better than the first one.

It wasn't just fun which I got from our stay in Mindoro this time. Aside from that, being the observer and over-thinker that I am, and through conversations with some relatives, I had a lot of thoughts and realizations. It was also something that I really wanted to do while I was away from Manila. Not just about what I am going through right now but life in general as well. I really didn't get the chance to have a one on one with nature because I feel like they didn't want me going by myself anywhere. But I still got my fair share of muni muni since I had a lot of free time while everyone else were either doing something or asleep.


One of the biggest realizations I've had while I was there was how simple life really is in the province once you compare to how it is in the city. Even though life isn't as grand or as comfortable as it is in the city, people are happy with what they have. Yes they dream of a more comfortable life, a better experience, but still they can satisfy themselves unlike other people in the city who always seek for something more then sometimes end up with nothing instead. And the kids are also lucky because they all go to school. I can see that they are happy, at least my relatives there are.

Everyone also has their fair share of work. Someone is in the kitchen doing the cooking, someone is doing the laundry, someone is feeding the animals, someone is cleaning the house. I felt so lazy, so useless doing nothing. Even if I try they'd also try and stop me and say "Ako na diyan." They are all so hardworking. I wish I could be like that. I kind of feel bad that sometimes I'm still too lazy to just wash the dishes at home or that I still have to rely on someone to do it for me or something. It pays off because they all still look so strong even if they're already in their 50s-60s. I wish mom would be like that.

I also love how crowded the place is since our relatives there live in this one big property. There are five houses in total, so imagine how crowded it gets when everyone's present, and everyone's your relative. I especially love meal times because it's when everyone gets together and it's always fun talking and laughing with them about different kinds of things. Even if not everyone agrees to each other's opinions, at the end of the day everyone's still at peace with each other. Family conversations and stories are always very enlightening and amusing in a way.

Another realization I've had is that change is really inevitable. It will happen whether you like it or not.

I have this relative there which is my Uncle by blood, but he's only the same age as I am, so we're just like cousins or barkada. We usually play and hang out together even before whenever we're there, so we're really pretty close. He was there also while we were on vacation and I had the chance to talk to him whenever there was some free time. Unlike before our conversation was more serious and I didn't know if I liked that or not. Sure, it's good that we've matured, but I just can't help but miss how things were back then. That's when I started thinking that change is inevitable. We've changed so much, but I think he has changed more than I do. Things aren't the same anymore. And I do believe that it has got something to do with the experiences he's had. He was able to live by himself for quite some time here in Manila and he got to do a lot of things. They weren't really luxurious or something like that but based from his stories, he enjoyed them a lot. And I kind of envied it. I wish I could do more things on my own. We're just the same age and yet he's had so much experience in life already. He's so matured that sometimes I wish we were just kids again just playing, goofing around the house. He's been to a lot of places, he's met different kinds of people, and I just can't wait for the day that I would be able to tell other people about my own adventures as well. I know I still have so much ahead of me and they're just waiting to be discovered.

One of the things I really wanted was I wish we had more bonding time; I know I wanted more, I wanted something different, but instead of being sad about it, I guess it's just time to understand that things won't always work out the way you want them to. And that it might just be time to create new memories. At least we had this opportunity, and that I still got what I wished for. For now this is enough, and we just have to play the waiting game again for another chance. Hopefully not that long, and hopefully with more people involved.